A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

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8 Things You Can Do to Increase Self-Confidence

By Mark Pettit, Time Management Coach and Business Coach at Lucemi Consulting

Are you looking to increase your self-confidence? One of the things that holds many people I talk to back from creating their ideal future is a fear of failure, and a lack of self-confidence to overcome it. Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one […]

Are you looking to increase your self-confidence?

One of the things that holds many people I talk to back from creating their ideal future is a fear of failure, and a lack of self-confidence to overcome it.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

These people struggle with getting started, and taking action.

Rather than creating their own path towards achieving their biggest dreams, they are held back by a lack of self-confidence to overcome the fear of failure.

As people, especially if we don’t have the right support system around us, it’s something we all face.

The key questions then become:

How do you overcome the fear?

Can increasing your self-confidence help you overcome this fear?

The answer.

By making an intentional commitment to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Then having the courage to work on increasing your self-confidence and self-esteem every day, even if the marginal gains feel small and it feels really difficult to do so.

When I talk to my business coaching clients about this commitment to increasing self-confidence I often use my gym experience as an example.

A Brief Story About How to Increase Self-Confidence

I was pretty fearful of going to the gym for the first time as I really wanted to get in shape and I knew it would be hard.

In the gym I would be surrounded by people that had more knowledge, experience and just looked better than me.

The experience of trying new things and really stretching different muscles put me out of my comfort zone.

During my first session I got out of breath very quickly and felt a burn in my muscles that I’d never experienced before.

It was pretty uncomfortable and my head was spinning after just 10 minutes working out.

With certain exercises, I was focused on doing 10 reps but only managed to do five.

The next day my body ached and I wondered why I bothered to put myself through that experience.

Have you experienced a similar feeling?

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Things Get Easier With Small Steps Every Day

The thing is, when I went back the next day things got slightly easier and I was able to do a little bit more, and feel less out of breath.

I could run a little bit further and lift slightly heavier weights.

The process got easier the more I stuck with going to the gym.

Incremental gains were achieved every day that built up my self-confidence and motivation to continue.

Those incremental gains also reinforced my commitment and self-confidence to continue.

When I sat back and looked at what happened, when I looked at my experience I realised that this commitment and taking one small step at a time had helped my overcome that specific fear.

I have used the process of being committed and using courage to boost my self-confidence when I have a specific fearful situation on every occasion since the gym.

My capabilities had increased.

I could run faster for longer and lift heavier weights than I imagined.

Now, I still have fears, most of us do.

But now I know that I can overcome them and come out the other side with increased self-confidence.

This knowledge has helped me, and my coaching clients, overcome some of the fears we’ve faced, become mentally stronger, build our capabilities and increase our self-confidence in the process.

So, how can you overcome your own fear and boost self-confidence?

Your fears may be completely different than mine, but you aspire to truly be yourself and build your self-confidence.

Whether it’s public speaking, attending networking events, putting yourself out there, or tackling a scary project, we all have fears.

How to Increase Self-Confidence

If you are currently feeling low in self-esteem or self-confidence, is it possible to transform this feeling into one of higher self-esteem or self-confidence?

In the moment, during bouts of low confidence this may not seem possible, but I believe there are intentional actions you can take to increase your self-confidence.

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You have the internal power to take control of your confidence and change it to create higher levels of self-confidence.

By taking control of your life, and taking the opportunity to boost self-confidence, through intentional actions and habits you can increase your self-confidence without the help of others

Below, I run through 8 intentional actions you can take to increase your self-confidence.

These are a mix of proven strategies for my clients and some that have worked really well for me.

You don’t need to do all of them. One or two may align with you more than others, so pick the ones that appeal most and give them a try.

If the ones you’re tried don’t work, try a different one to find the perfect actions to boost your self-confidence.

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Here are the 8 actions, in no specific order:

1. Increase Your Capabilities

How can you boost self-confidence? By increasing your capabilities.

And how do you do that?

By making a commitment and having the courage to follow through.

Through practice and achieving improvement every day.

Just do small bits at a time.

If you want to be a more competent speaker, for example, don’t try to speak in front of 100 people on your first go.

Just begin to speak more.

Speak at smaller networking events. Record some short videos.

Talk to a small group of close friends or peers on a subject you know well.

The more you speak, the better you’ll be. That incremental improvement will boost self-confidence.

Set aside 15 minutes to practice speaking (for example), and the practice will increase your capabilities.

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2. Use Your Past as A Guide

Think back to a time when you achieved something but were fearful at the beginning.

What lessons can you learn? How was your confidence when you achieved that thing?

Was there are process you went through to overcome that fear?

If you have a number of examples of overcoming fear, you may notice patterns of courage developing that you can use to overcome any current challenge that scares you.

This simple thinking exercise will prove to you that you have the ability to overcome things you are fearful about.

Knowledge of previous achievements can help boost self-confidence.

3. Start with Small Steps

Rather than jumping straight in and tackling the big frogs, set a small goal and achieve it. This helps remove overwhelm.

People often make the mistake of shooting for something far bigger than their current capability.

When they fail, they get discouraged, frustrated and start beating themselves up for failing.

Instead, focus on achieving something you know you can achieve.

Once you’ve achieved it, you’ll feel good and self-confident.

Then, set another small goal and achieve that.

This builds positive momentum and belief.

You’ll develop new capabilities, and in turn boost self-confidence.

Soon you’ll be setting bigger goals and achieving those too.

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4. Focus on The Positive

Rather than focus on weaknesses that you wish to improve, focus on your strengths and expand them.

One of the things I learned when I started my coaching business, was how to replace negative thoughts (see next action) with positive ones.

My intentionally creating positive thoughts, and reframing bad situations into a positive focus, made great things happen.

With that tiny mind shift, I was able to get new clients quicker and stay confident and positive every day.

5. Stop Negative Self Talk

This is an essential mindset to master to increase your self-confidence.

You have to be aware of your own thinking and give yourself some time and space to think about your thinking.

Become more aware of your self-talk and the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing.

If there are specific themes to the negative self-talk, step back from that thought and ask yourself “why am I thinking that?” “is there a more positive way of looking at this?”

When you catch negative self-talk, try to replace the thought with a positive one.

If you think you are far away from achieving your goals, stop and reframe that thought.

Think instead about how far you’ve come from where you started.

Negative become positive and self-confidence rises.

6. Understand Your Unique Strengths

When you spend time doing things you love and you’re great at your self-confidence is at a high level.

Conversely, doing things that bore you, that frustrate you can lower your energy.

Spend some time understanding your unique strengths, and then try to spend more time doing those things that utilise those strengths.

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7. Celebrate Achievements Every Day

Self-confidence grows when we achieve something that is important to us.

However, we often fail to recognise and celebrate all the great little wins we achieve every day.

At the end of each day, write down 3 things you’ve achieved or are grateful for.

This simple habit of celebrating achievements is one of the best practices for boosting self-confidence daily.

8. Really Understand Yourself

When you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is often yourself.

Most personal transformations start internally and come from making a commitment.

The key to creating this transformation is to really understand yourself.

Summing Up

Increasing confidence will take commitment and a lot of courage.

The intentional actions I’ve laid out in this article can help you overcome fear and boost self-confidence.

Some of them will work really well together to expand the impact, whilst others will work well in isolation.

Find the best solution for you that works and stick with it.

Source: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/8-things-you-can-do-to-increase-self-confidence/

A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

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15 Ways to Become a Better Person

Life is a journey and becoming better every day is the goal.

By John Rampton

“Make the most of yourself….for that is all there is of you.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’ve all made mistakes throughout our lives that haven’t exactly put us in the best light–like bullying someone in school or telling what seemed like a little white lie. Chances are, however, you probably felt a little guilt and grew because of the situation.

I’m an average guy trying to become better in both my work and home life. I’ll never be perfect, but it doesn’t mean I won’t try.

If you want to continue to grow as a person, here are 15 ways to make the most of yourself.

1. Compliment Yourself
Every morning before you go on with your daily routine, take a couple of minutes to give yourself a compliment. Whether you compliment your outfit, haircut, or how you recently completed a task using your unique skill sets, giving yourself a little emotional boost will make you happy. And, when you’re happy with yourself, that emotion can be contagious to those around you. Inspirational speaker Tony Robbins has a mantra he says aloud to himself most days to put him in a peak performance state.

2. Don’t Make Excuses
Blaming your spouse, boss, or clients is fruitless and won’t get you very far. Instead of pointing fingers and making excuses about why you aren’t happy or successful in your personal or professional life, own your mistakes and learn from them. When you do this, you will become a better person. When I personally started living up to my mistakes and downfalls, my life turned itself around. I became happier and healthier, and my relationship with my wife improved. We are happier than ever.

3. Let Go of Anger
Letting go of anger is easier said than done. While anger is a perfectly normal emotion, you can’t let it fester. When this happens, you may make unwise decisions, and more important, it may affect your health. Research suggests pent up anger can cause digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, and even heart disease.

To help you let go of anger, Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD, suggests you write your feelings down, pray or meditate, or begin to manage your thoughts.

4. Practice Forgiveness
Joyce Marter, LCPC, suggests you forgive and let go of resentment. She notes, “If for no other reason than for yourself, forgive to untether yourself from the negative experiences of the past. Take time to meditate, and give thanks for the wisdom and knowledge gained from your suffering. Practice the mantra, “I forgive you and I release you.”

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5. Be Honest and Direct
How would you feel if a loved one or business partner lied to you? Chances are you would see that as a violation of your trust. If you want to be a better person in either your personal or professional life, you should always tell the truth and state as clearly as possible what you are trying to convey. Learn to articulate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas in an open and honest manner.

6. Be Helpful
Whether giving up your seat to an elderly person on the subway, assisting a co-worker on a project, or carrying in the groceries when your spouse comes back from the store, being helpful is one of the easiest and most effective ways to practice becoming a better person. I find that the more I help others, the better I feel about myself and everyone around me.

7. Listen to Others
As Jeet Banerjee notes on Lifehack, “listening to people and giving everyone a voice is one of the greatest things you can do.” He adds that he “got to meet some of the most amazing people, close some of the biggest deals, and develop connections that will last me a lifetime all because I took time to listen to people. Being a good listener can change your life in a positive manner.”

8. Act Locally
It may not seem like a big deal, but supporting a local cause, donating clothes, or buying from local farmers’ markets or businesses are simple ways you can help your specific region. You may not be able to save the world, but you very well could make a difference in your neck of the woods. Get to know and care about your community.

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9. Always Be Polite
How much effort does it take to say, “Thank you,” or to hold the elevator door open for someone? Not much at all. However, these acts of kindness can make someone’s day. I decided a few years ago that it doesn’t matter if someone is ultra rude, condescending, or worse. The way someone else behaves is not going to determine my behavior.

10. Be Yourself
Tiffany Mason has five excellent reasons on Lifehack why you should be yourself. These include being able to align yourself with your values and beliefs, establish your identity, build courage, create boundaries, and find focus and direction.

11. Be Open to Change
Whether trying a new restaurant, traveling to an unknown part of the world, or doing something that has always scared you, you should always be open to change. This allows you to grow because you experience something new. It helps you be high functioning and self-confident if you are not wary of change.

12. Be Respectful
How would you feel if you had just cleaned your home and someone came in and tracked mud everywhere? You’d probably be a little ticked that they hadn’t taken off their shoes. Take this mentality and apply it to everyday life. For example, don’t toss your trash or cigarette butts on the floor of public restrooms or sidewalks just because someone else will clean it up. Be respectful of others’ time, thoughts, ideas, lifestyles, feelings, work, and everything else. You don’t have to agree with any of it, but people have a right to their opinions and yours is not necessarily correct.

13. Don’t Show Up Empty-handed
Going to a party this weekend at your friend’s apartment? Make sure you don’t arrive empty-handed. Even if you’ve been assured that there will be plenty of food and drink, bring along a little something to show you appreciate being invited.

14. Educate Yourself
If you don’t understand why one country is invading another, take the time to educate yourself on the current event. Ask a person intimately connected with the event for his or her thoughts. Remember, we’re all interconnected, and being aware of different cultures, different people, and what their lives are like can make you a more well-rounded individual. This will also help you understand points of view different from your own.

15. Surprise People
How good does it feel to make someone smile? It feels pretty good, right? Surprise your loved ones or co-workers now and then, with a gift, a night out on the town, or by offering help when you know they could use it.

Becoming a better person doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. Believe in yourself and know that it is possible!

What other tips have you found useful for becoming a better person?

Source: https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/15-ways-to-become-a-better-person.html

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My Hope for you: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life

By Luminita D. Saviuc

In a world where so many people focus on the bad instead of the good, the ugly instead of the beautiful, on scarcity instead of abundance, fear instead of love, I hope you’ll dare to do things differently. I hope you’ll dare to smile when others frown, to believe when others doubt and to love when others fear…

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My Hope for You

“I hope you’ll put aside all your fears and insecurities and I hope you’ll find the courage to take risks and make all your dreams come true.

I hope you’ll find the courage to lose sight of the shore so that you can discover new oceans.

I hope you’ll let go of all thoughts of limitation and I hope you’ll stop settling for less than you are worth.

I hope you’ll start believing in yourself as much as you want the world to believe in you.

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I hope you’ll pour your love into everything you do and I hope you’ll make your life a work of art.

I hope you’ll learn to smile more and frown less; to trust more and doubt less; to feel more and think less; to listen more and talk less.

I hope you’ll give yourself permission to stop taking yourself so seriously and enjoy life a little more.

I hope you’ll give yourself permission to be silly and weird, to laugh when you feel like laughing and to cry when you feel like crying.

I hope you’ll cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but light, your own and of those around you.

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I hope you’ll stop chasing love and approval outside of you and start seeking your own love and approval instead.

I hope you’ll always keep a humble heart and no matter how bad the world will treat you, I hope you’ll look at it with eyes of love.

I hope you’ll learn to treat everyone with love and respect and I hope you’ll make every person you come in contact with feel that there is something valuable in them.

I hope you’ll surround yourself with the best kind of people, positive and cheerful spirits, beautiful and loving souls.

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I hope you’ll love with all your heart and no matter if you’ll get hurt, lied or betrayed, I hope you’ll never lose your faith in love.

I hope you’ll put aside all thoughts of envy and jealousy and look at those who already accomplished many of the things you wish to accomplish with respect and admiration.

I hope you’ll learn to honor and embrace yourself fully, and I hope you’ll love yourself as much as you want others to love you.

I hope you’ll learn to forgive and let go of all thoughts of anger and resentment, and I hope you’ll allow peace, love and tranquility to enter your heart.

I hope you’ll let go of the past and all the pain that it caused you, and I hope you’ll allow it to make you better not bitter.

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I hope you’ll find the strength to turn your wounds into wisdom and all your difficulties into opportunities.

I hope you’ll learn to be grateful for every experience life sends your way.

I hope you’ll allow your so called mistakes and failures to teach you gratitude, patience, humility and compassion, and I hope you’ll put all thoughts of blame, judgement and criticism behind you.

I hope you’ll become a reflection of that which you want to see in the world and I hope you’ll make the rest of your life the best of your life.”

Source: https://www.purposefairy.com/67562/my-hope-for-you-how-to-make-the-rest-of-your-life-the-best-of-your-life/

I’ll be better than yesterday, personally, professionally and financially

A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

With love and respect

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17 Killer Strategies For Never Giving Up

By Joel Runyon

Most things aren’t impossible, most people just give up too soon.

The number one reason people don’t get what they want is because they give up too soon. That’s a true stat that I just made up, but I would venture to guess it’s not far off. You’ve probably given up on a lot of things before.

You didn’t get the first job you wanted – so you gave up.
The first business you started working on failed – so you gave up.
The first time you went out for a run, you puked – so you gave up.
The first time you sent in a writing piece, you got turned down – so you gave up.

It could be anything, but chances are whatever it is, it boiled down to this: you didn’t get what you wanted right away so you gave up.

You called it in. You packed it up and you headed home.

STOP GIVING UP.

Perseverance, next to adaptability is the most important skill you can have. And it’s just that, a skill. Like any other skill in the world, you might be born with a more natural ability to persevere than others, but you can learn to stick with things and persevere if you want to. In fact, the one thing that sets people I know who succeed in the long run over the people who don’t is the ability to persevere, keep going and never give up.

The goal of this article is to get you to stop giving up!

Luckily, like everything, not giving up is a skill you can learn. Here are some strategies for never giving up to help you the next time you want to quit.

1. Go Workout

A long run can clear your mind in ways that few other things can. Same with a solid session of throwing around a lot of heavy weight. Get moving. Go do something different. Push yourself physically. The best way to get past imaginary limits is to make them as physical as possible and then physically smash them into pieces. When you do that it reminds you that the limits that seem so real in your mind, aren’t real at all. When you’re in the weight room, the iron never lies. It shows you exactly who you are and that with solid hard work you can overcome something you used to think was impossible to do.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs.

Friends may come and go.

But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. – Henry Rollins – Iron and the Soul

2. Watch Someone Do Something Impossible

What can you do? You’re just a little tiny person on earth. Good thing people are capable of doing incredible things.

When it feels like you can’t do anything, it can be helpful to be reminded by others who have done amazing things despite the annoying hindrance of being merely human.

“Everything around you that you call life was made up by people who are no smarter than you.” – Steve Jobs

Go watch someone do something impossible. Then go do something impossible yourself. One person can change the world. Be that person.

3. Listen To Your Go-To Song

Everyone needs a good pump up song. I don’t really listen to music much when I’m working out, but I do need the help to get out the door. Find something that works for you. When things start getting hard, pump up the music, put on your headphones and get after it.

This is my go-to song that gets me out of the door when I’m feeling lazy.

4. Climb A Mountain

Sometimes the real reason for quitting is a complete lack of belief that you can actually do the impossible. Show yourself you can actually do it. Go do something ridiculously hard and don’t tell anyone. Climb a mountain and tell no one. Remind yourself what you’re capable of. Then keep going.

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5. Find A Door And Go Through It

This video from David Goggins is one of the most inspirational things I’ve ever seen. If you’ve never seen it, go watch it now (I’ll be here when you’re done)

David Goggins’ Video

David’s an ultra-marathoner and in the video he describes that throughout certain parts of the race you feel like giving up when you hit a wall. But the wall isn’t the problem – the problem is giving up. When you hit a wall, it’s not the end of the road, you have to keep going. Go parallel right, and parallel left until you find a door in the wall. Once you find that door, you can either give up or keep going. If you want to finish, you have to open that door. When you do, your mind resets and you break through the wall and you keep going.

Find the door, open it and keep going.

6. Be Honest With Yourself

Sometimes you need to lock yourself in a room, and scream at the top of your lungs.

THIS SUCKS!

Do that until you turn purple.

Got that out of your system? Good. Then get back to work.

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7. Find Someone To Call You Out

Sometimes you have legitimate reasons for wanting to quit. Lots of times you’re simply making up excuses for when things get hard. Find someone who’d going to call you out when you start coming up with excuses. Someone that’s going to call you on your BS.

A lot of friends want to be encouraging and they do it in the nicest way possible, but unfortunately, nice isn’t always a good thing. Honest friends – people who tell you what you need to hear whether you like or not – are rare and while it’s nice to be coddled, sometimes you need to be called out.

If you need someone to call you out, I try to help out with that. Get on the email list for no BS call-outs directly to your inbox.

8. Wallow

Sit around. Put your head in your hands. Curl up in a ball. Cry. Feel bad for yourself. Do whatever you have to. Wallow and throw yourself a pity party. But (and this is important) give yourself a time limit for wallowing.

You can’t wallow forever. Give yourself a set time to wallow (preferably not over 24 hours) and then get back to it and do something.

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9. Think About Why

Ask yourself, “Why are you doing this again?”

You should have a really good reason. Otherwise, pause, take a break and figure it out.

Then keep going.

10. Just Quit

You don’t have to finish everything. If you’re doing the wrong thing, you should be quitting. But you need to quit the right things – not everything. If you quit everything, you either need to get better at choosing what to start or learn to adapt and perserve more.

It’s also good to note that quitting an activity, doesn’t mean quitting altogether and giving up. If you quit something, do it because you need to focus on something else or do something better. Don’t simply quit because it’s the easy thing to do. Quit because you’re quitting the right thing.

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11. Tree Counting

Whenever I do long distance races, there’s always a point where you want to stop. When that happens, I start counting trees. How it works is that while running, you pick out a tree 50 yards in front of you. You tell yourself to keep going until that tree. As soon as you hit that next tree, pick another tree out and keep going. Repeat as necessary.

12. Take Cold Showers

If you want to give up because you’re afraid to take the next step, take 30 days of cold shower therapy and get used to stepping into something you’re scared of and realize that it’s never as bad as your imagination makes it out to be.

13. Forget About It

You got rejected, turned down or met some other minor setback? Forget about it. Literally just forget about it. Move on to something else instead and put that out of your mind.

In my mind sometimes, I think things were really, really easy, because looking back on things I tend to forget all the hard parts. I look at whatever I did and think “well that wasn’t so hard.”

Of course it’s wasn’t now that you’re done with it!

But there were a ton of times along the way that things were difficult, but I just put them out of my head. It turns out, I have a very short term memory of all the times I’ve screwed up, failed, and been rejected. It’s not that they didn’t happen – it’s just that I didn’t let them stop me. I put them out of my mind and kept going, with whatever added wisdom I picked up from that experience.

For example: When I first started writing online, I sent a bunch of samples to a few blogs that I thought were great, only to get rejected time after time after time. I’d spend a week on an article only to get a “no thanks” back from a blog I thought was amazing. So I quit, packed up my laptop ran to my room, cried for a few months and never wrote another thing again, right?

Well, actually I just made my own site and started writing. And I still wasn’t any good. I was bad when I started (really bad), but I’ve gotten less and less bad as time goes on. As I’ve improved I realize those sites that I thought were amazing, weren’t that amazing after all. They were good, and they were right (the pieces I sent them weren’t great) but they weren’t blogging Gods and their judgment of wherever I was at the time, didn’t mean I couldn’t improve and get better. I still get rejected all the time, but I just keep going.

If you’re facing a setback, rejection, or failure, sometimes it’s easy to turn on your short term memory and continue anyways.

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14. Reframe Your Story

Reframing your story is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Rethink the lens you’re looking at your life through. Instead of worrying about the struggle you’re in the midst of, remind yourself you’re a character in a story. Characters experience conflict and the conflict you’re going through is part of what’s going to make your story so great in the end.

Your current circumstances are not final outcomes.

Your circumstances define the conflict, but not the final result. The harder the struggle, the greater the story. The more triumphant it is in the end when you overcome the conflict you find yourself immersed in.

When other people give up, you keep going and remember that there’s more to the story than what you’re experiencing right now.

15. Keep Your Head Up.

The crap you’re going to seems so immense because you’re focused directly on it – looking directly into and analyzing every piece of crap that flies your way. When you raise your head up, you look beyond the mess you’re stuck in right now and see the bigger picture and sometimes that’s all you need. Keeping your head up allows you to see the simple solution to the problem that you used to think was ridiculously complex.

16. Realize You Get To Do This

You get the opportunity to do this. To be able to change your life, try something impossible and actually do it. There are people all over the world that don’t get the opportunities you do.

It’s sounds ridiculous, but there are people throughout the world that would kill to deal with the pain and agony of starting their own business, being healthy enough to run a marathon or the freedom to choose what job they want to spend their life doing.

Realizing that most of the world doesn’t get the opportunities you do, lets you take advantage of the ones you have rather than complaining about how difficult they may seem.

17. Make Quitting Not An Option

Just decide that you’re not going to quit. This is so effective, and so simple, but hardly anyone does it. Just decide you’re not going to quit.

No matter what. Period. End of Story.

If you get punched in the face. Keep going. If you go bankrupt. Suck it back up and keep going. If you get laughed at, mocked or pushed down. Just get back up. Get back at it and keep going. Be relentless.

Fall down seven times. Get up eight. – Japanese Proverb

Decide that quitting is not an option and, no matter how many times you fail, it won’t be an option.

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10 BOOKS FOR A BETTER MONEY MINDSET

By BRIAN COLVERT

The list of personal finance and investing books is pretty extensive. This is not that list. While those books can be helpful, many get very technical, and if your mindset isn’t in the right place to take in that knowledge – what is the point? Plus, technical knowledge alone won’t lead you towards a wealthy and rich life (financial or otherwise). A lot of what holds people back from success are their thoughts and beliefs about money.

WHAT STORIES DO YOU TELL YOURSELF ABOUT MONEY?

For some, and as society has come to reinforce, is that money is the root of all evil, or that rich people are greedy, or some other negative belief along those lines. Living with a negative or scarce mindset will never lead you to a positive or abundant life. In fact, research shows that one of the BEST predictors of success in life is one’s mindset.

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT, GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT!

So then, what is this list? This is a list of books for a better money mindset. Some talk specifically about money, others don’t, but all should spark something in your mind and help you view the world, and your money in a different and more positive way. Let’s get to it!

1. MINDSET BY CAROL DWECK

This is an obvious first choice because, well, this book is THE book about mindset. There are decades of research behind this book that gets translated into specific, actionable, and tangible detail. Dweck has a very compelling view of why we should look differently at failure and learning. Further, this book helps you to evaluate if you are approaching your money from a fixed or growth perspective. There is a huge difference, which is why I recommend this book.

2. START WITH WHY BY SIMON SINEK

Simon Sinek is a genius when it comes to getting to the heart of why you should do something, not how. Why do you want more money? Certainly, it’s not to have more pieces of paper with dead Presidents on them laying around. Defining what is truly behind your financial goals will help propel you in the right direction. You will discover that money is never really the WHY.

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3. THE POWER OF BROKE BY DAYMOND JOHN

Shark Tank investor and entrepreneur Daymond John was broke with a $40 budget when he was starting his clothing brand FUBU, which today is a $6 billion brand. How is that for bootstrapping?! This book is great for putting money into perspective. It shows that it doesn’t always take money to make money (another disempowering colloquialism that society has)- the book has so many perfect examples of this. Use your lack of financial resources to your advantage. We also recommend this book to those well off because it can reignite a hustle you may have lost along the way.

4. THE TALENT CODE BY DANIEL COYLE

This book is grounded in science. It doesn’t skip straight to the “here’s how it works, go do that”, instead, it helps you understand what influences the development of your skills and as a result helps you become a better learner in all areas. This book has expanded my mind and it is another great perspective builder. There are practical stories and examples of the concepts. Above all, Coyle shows how all of us can achieve our full potential (and the best money mindset) if we set about training our brains in the right way.

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5. THINK AND GROW RICH BY NAPOLEON HILL

This is a classic and one of those books I revisit at least once a year. It is that good. If you haven’t read it, stop what you are doing and read it already. In fact, I believe this should be required reading for high school students. In the book, Napoleon Hill recounts his research of more than 500 self-made millionaires (keep in mind the book was originally published in 1937) and then he boils down the “secret” to building wealth into 13 principles and reveals “major causes of failure” that hold many of us back from getting rich. This should really be on every list of books for a better money mindset, or self-improvement book list in general.

6. THE INNER GAME OF TENNIS BY W. TIMOTHY GALLWEY

I had to convince my wife to read this because she isn’t a huge Tennis fan, she read it and loved it. So, if you are not a big Tennis Fan either, simply ignore the title and read on. This book is about how to master your inner dialog. The inner game of tennis theory states that two opposing mindsets are always battling. The first, the “teller” mind which is filled with self-judgments and criticism. This mindset wants to over-control your performance. The second “doer” mindset is the best mindset for peak performance and happens when you are free and react with your game. You must master both. Again, master your mind- master your money.

7. THE MILLIONAIRE NEXT DOOR BY THOMAS J. STANLEY PH.D.

This book examines the lives of unlikely, unexpected millionaires. It goes into the habits, careers, and relationships that shape these people. Some of the material is dated to the 90’s but the concept is still applicable today- especially the principle that wealth is more common than you would think, actually it that might be even more relevant today. There is lots of practical advice in this classic book and one worth checking out.

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8. THE OTHER 90% BY ROBERT K. COOPER

I believe there are two main problems with the majority of self-help and leadership books. First, the vast majority of self-improvement books don’t seem to challenge conventional thinking in any meaningful way, nor do they bring about fresh insights. Second, they tend to offer oversimplified platitudes about success. The other 90% goes in the opposite direction. Dr. Robert Cooper, a neuroscience pioneer, urges us to take a radically different view of human capacity. We are mostly unused potential, he says, employing less than 10 percent of our brilliance or hidden talents. This book provides action steps to develop your full potential in all areas of your life.

**9. UNFU*K YOURSELF BY GARY JOHN BISHOP**

I love this book because it offers a no-BS, tough-love approach to help you move past self-imposed limitations. It is a great alternative to cozy, everything is rainbows, self-help books. Beyond the catchy title, it offers practical insights on fostering the will for change, changing your language to serve you, and overcoming analysis paralysis. It drives home the point, quite bluntly, that you currently have the life (and the money mindset) that you are willing to put up with. It is certainly a refreshing read and why it made our list of books for a better money mindset.

10. THE POWER OF HABIT BY CHARLES DUHIGG

Habits around money can either be the most empowering or the most detrimental. This book walks you through everything you need to know about breaking and forming habits that will transform your life, and of course your money mindset. This book is a fascinating account of recent research into habits and worth the time to read it. What cues some of your current money habits? What rewards do you have in place for your good habits? Do you have a plan in place to create better habits around money? This book dives into it all. Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.

There you have it! Our top Ten Books for a Better Money Mindset. Have you read any of these already? Are there others you would add to the list? We hope you find value in these and that at least one resonates with you in a way that makes you want to intentionally improve your mindset, because if you improve your mindset- you improve your life!

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Source: https://www.bonfirefinancial.com/books-for-a-better-money-mindset/

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5 Simple Steps You Can Take To Change Your Money Mindset

by Mary Beth Storjohann

Change and control go hand in hand. Some changes fall easily into your scope of control, whereas others remain just outside it. You can’t control the weather no matter how much you wish that sunny January morning was actually sparkling snow. But there are other times when it doesn’t feel like you have control over a situation when you really do — and your personal financial health (and money mindset) is certainly one of them. People often fixate on the money aspects they can’t control, like the market or returns, instead of focusing on what they can control like savings, spending, investing, goal-setting, and more.

When it comes to personal finance, whether or not you feel in control has everything to do with perspective. Your financial perspective is also known as your money mindset. What is a money mindset and do you have the power to change it? Let’s find out.

What’s a Money Mindset?

Similar to a money script, a money mindset is the unique attitude, perspective, and narrative you weave using your thoughts, actions, and beliefs toward money. Your money mindset extends beyond the bounds of your personal life and enters into your general feelings toward finances.

Your money mindset informs the way you manage, save, spend, and invest your money. When you better understand your perspective toward your money, you begin to see where your financial habits come from. A money mindset influences your thoughts and actions, which can have both positive and negative consequences.

Someone with a healthy money mindset likely feels confident, secure, knowledgeable, and energized about their financial life. Someone with a negative money mindset might feel anxious, guarded, or uncomfortable about their financial situation. Not sure where you fall? Ask yourself some questions to help shed light on your money mindset:

How does your financial situation make you feel?
Are you comfortable talking with your spouse, parents, friends, etc. about money matters?
Do you like your financial habits?
Are you secure in your financial future?
Do you often compare your financial situation to others?
Are you confident you can achieve your financial goals?

These questions help reveal how you view money. It illustrates how you see your debt, whether you make healthy financial choices, how confident you are in your financial future, and so much more.

How is Your Money Mindset Formed?

Your money mindset is formed from your distinct lived experiences. Everyone has a different story and relationship with money because everyone has had different experiences with it throughout their lives. Someone who worked during high school and college might have a different perspective on saving than someone whose first job was well into their 20s.

Along with your personal experiences, your mindset is also formed by how money impacted the people closest to you.

Was money a taboo topic in your house?
Were your parents or loved ones constantly stressed about money?
Did your family prioritize charitable giving?
Was financial literacy a core topic of conversation in your house?

All of these past experiences likely influence your attitude and approach toward money today. Someone who grew up in an environment where money was a sore spot might not like managing their finances (or might always worry about having enough money to support themselves and their family).

Your attitudes and perspectives are shaped by the people around you, and those closest to you tend to profoundly influence your thoughts and beliefs. As the saying goes, you are who you spend time with,

Why Care About Your Money Mindset?

As noted earlier, your money mindset is directly connected to your current financial habits. It affects how you approach money, the way you view and use debt, how you think about your future, and how you view the financial habits of others.

When you know how you approach money, you’ll be more equipped to make intentional decisions that push you in a positive direction. After reflecting on this concept, you may realize you lean on your credit cards too often for purchases you don’t need and that don’t further your goals. You may also discover your propensity for giving comes from a long line of generous role models.

Your money mindset also reveals both your positive and negative traits regarding financial management. This concept isn’t inherently intuitive. It’s critical to spend some time thinking through these questions and being honest with yourself about your attitude toward your money.

The best thing about a money mindset? Like perspectives, they can shift. Here’s a few ways you can change your mindset to improve your financial outlook.

5 Steps to Change Your Money Mindset for the Better.

Personal finance fluctuates and changes, which always leaves room for improvement. Remember, your money mindset is something you can control. Here are some ways you can evolve and make progress:

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1. Believe You are Destined and Deserve Success

Too often, a negative mindset leads people to give up on their financial goals. It’s important to approach your money from a place of openness, curiosity, and excitement. Believing that you can reach your goals and find success is the first step. Once you have that foundation, you’ll be able to construct habits that support those beliefs.

This doesn’t mean your entire financial road will be paved with rainbows and sunshine, but it does mean you’ll allow yourself to find success. How can you shift this perspective? Spend some time setting new financial goals. Your goals are the foundation of your financial plan. Once you have your goals, set some key milestones to celebrate as you work toward them.

Starting from a positive headspace will help you make choices that are aligned with those productive thoughts.

2. Picture Your Future Self

Sometimes it’s crucial to flip this tough interview question back on yourself. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20, even 30 years? Where have you grown? What have you accomplished? What do you want for your future self? Picturing your future can be a telling exercise as it can reveal if you’re on the right path to attaining it.

Maybe starting your own business is a critical milestone in your life. You might suddenly realize you haven’t started saving for this venture or really thought about the type of business for you. Fill in those missing pieces so you can set yourself up and bring that future vision to life.

You might also try picturing your dream retirement. Where are you living? How are you spending your time? Are you fulfilled? When you can see your future self, you can find the motivation you need to get there. Maybe this year commit to maxing out your retirement accounts or increasing the contributions to your other investments.

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3. Give Freely and Generously

Your comfort level with giving back to causes, organizations, and people you care about says a lot about your money mindset. In general, those who intentionally make space for giving feel more confident, secure, and fulfilled with their money.

Every person will have a different capacity for giving, but when you feel comfortable giving away some of your money, you’ll move from a space of scarcity to one of abundance.

A scarcity mindset is a dangerous narrative, one that leaves you constantly chasing the idea of “enough”. Abundance, on the other hand, is about setting yourself up for financial success and structuring your money in a way that brings meaning and fulfillment.

4. Immerse Yourself in Knowledge

One of the best ways to combat negative habits is to learn healthier ones. Financial management isn’t simply intuitive, it’s something you need to work toward and spend time with to get right.

Take some time to read books, blogs, and articles. These resources can broaden your perspective and help you improve the areas where you’re struggling.
Talk with family and friends about the questions you have. They might be able to share their wisdom or perhaps just open a line of conversation.
Seek out a professional. A financial advisor can help address your money mindset and give you practical tools to improve it.

Knowledge is power and making the most of the resources available to you will help you shift your perspective.

5. Know Where You Are and Where You Want to Be

To change something, you need to understand two elements:

Where you are.
Where you want to be.

Let’s use investing as an example. When you know you veer into a scarcity mindset when the topic of investing comes up, you can use the tools and resources around you to overcome those feelings. If you want to reach your financial goals, odds are you’ll have to embrace investing.

To embrace the role investing plays in your finances, do some research on what investing means to you. Understand your risk tolerance, set goals, and work with someone you trust. All of these elements will help you build a positive and fulfilling mindset.

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Live Abundantly

Your money mindset powers your thoughts, attitudes, and perspectives toward your finances. Remember, you can control how you view, approach, and manage your money. By understanding your current money mindset, you’ll be able to create positive habits that help you accomplish your goals.

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12 Tips for Making Better Decisions

Written by: Abdelmalek El Fanne

How you can make better decisions in your life?

The decisions we make play a vital role in our lives. In many ways, they shape our future. Yet, most people aren’t really conscious of just how impactful many of their decisions actually are.

They go through life without paying much attention to their thoughts or actions. Of course, we can not control everything that happens to us; but we can still make decisions that align with our life’s goals.

That said, you may feel very uncertain about how to make decisions that will steer your career, health, financial situation and relationships in the direction you want. If this rings true for you, then you may want to improve your decision-making process. Here are some effective tips to make better decisions!

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1 — Outline The Issue

It is difficult to make a good decision if you are not clear about what the issue really is! Clearly outlining the issue will help you focus on what you are really deciding on, while excluding unrelated aspects.

Start with a simple statement like: “What I need to decide is ….,” and also ask yourself why the decision is necessary or advantageous, and what is motivating you. Doing this will help you realize the effect your decision will have. Maybe you are considering buying a new car.

Why do you want it or need it?
Can you afford it?
Are you willing and able to make the necessary payments?

Understanding the important issues involved can help you make better decisions.

2 — Take Control Of Your Emotions

What you are feeling about an issue can affect your decisions. It is therefore, important that you recognize what you are feeling, and deal with your emotions. Fear or uncertainty can lead you to avoid risk, and this can also affect other areas of your life.

If you are anxious about signing a loan agreement, for example, you might also shy away from other, less risky decisions — like: whether you should actually ask for that raise you might deserve. If however, you are an excitable person, you may be entirely too optimistic about your prospects.

You might take big risks — no matter how small the chances of success — if the profit is big enough. Gambling is a typical example of such behavior. So consider whether you are feeling depressed, excited, fearful, or maybe overly optimistic. Really think about how these feelings might be affecting your decision-making process.

3 — Avoid Information Overload

People like to think that they are making informed decisions. And why not?

It certainly makes sense! Yet many get stuck constantly gathering information in order to be as certain as possible about any particular decision. This can lead to putting off the decision indefinitely.

At any point, take stock of the information you have, and decide what information is most useful toward making a decision. It’s helpful to differentiate what information is essential and what is not. If you catch yourself agonizing over a decision, clear your mind of it for a while. Do anything to get your mind off it. This will give your brain a chance to refocus on the essentials.

4 — Don’t Rely On Other People’s Opinions

If you ask others what YOU should do, you will most likely get conflicting opinions, and this can make it even more difficult for you to decide what is best — for you. Other people, after all, will analyze an issue based on their own values. And the more outside opinions you gather, the more confused and uncertain you will feel. There are exceptions of course. It is perfectly OK to talk with people who will be affected by your decision. It’s important to take them into account before you make a decision.

5 — Make Decisions Compatible With Your Values

Decisions that are in alignment with your core values will also motivate you to make them work. Any time you make an important choice that is NOT in line with your personal priorities or deeply felt principles, you will not be convinced of the rightness of your decision.

However, before you can do this, you need to really think about what your core principles and values are. Getting a clear idea of what is really important to you is vital! Write down those values that you feel most deeply about. Once you’ve done that, you can judge whether your decisions align with them or not.

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6 — Distance Yourself From The Decision

If you are too personally involved, any decision can be difficult to make. So, try to view the issue from a third person perspective.

Imagine that it is someone else’s decision. This will enable you to see issues more dispassionately. Let’s say for example, you are considering whether you should quit your job and begin another career. Pretend that you are advising someone else as to what decision he or she should make.

By stepping back and looking at the issue from a more disinterested perspective, you will be able to analyze the situation without feeling directly involved — and therefore, be able to make a more sober assessment of the possible results of any decision. Using this technique will also help you keep your emotions in check.

7 — Weigh Both Risks And Rewards

Every decision promises a desired outcome, but also comes with potential risk. When you are considering a decision, make a list of potential outcomes, both positive and negative.

You should also consider how other people may be affected. For every decision there are pros and cons. Although almost no decision you make will be without risk, make sure your decision promises results where the positive effects exceed the negative. Let’s say, that you are considering buying a new house. The pros of such a purchase could be that you will have more space, live in a better neighborhood and can take advantage of low mortgage rates. The cons could include an increase in monthly expenditures.

You may also consider what effect it might have on your overall financial situation.

What are the worst things that can happen as a result of your decision?
What are the clear advantages?
Also, what can happen if you don’t make any decision at all?

Be aware that making no decision, is a decision in itself!

8 — Avoid Typical Pitfalls

The way you think and choose can negatively affect the quality of your decisions. Even after you’ve outlined the issue; get useful information; and consider the pros and cons — you can still make a bad decision! It is important for you to detect your typical tendencies and pre-conceived ideas that can affect the way you make decisions. It is often everything but easy to make changes.

Yet a decision that takes you out of your comfort zone and represents a new direction is usually the best. Don’t make a decision just because you’re comfortable with it. We often seek information that merely confirms what we already want to do. This phenomenon is called “confirmation bias”. Gather information — no matter how disturbing it may seem, and really look at all aspects of the decision you are facing.

9 — Create An Action Plan

Simply deciding on something is not enough. You should formulate the steps you need to take, in order to realize your decision. Your action plan should also have a timeline for each step, as well as how you will integrate other people who are affected by your decision.

For example, if you decide to go on vacation, that may require you to take care of a number of things. You need to inform your employer well in advance and make sure that your tasks are covered in your absence. You should probably check your available finances and perhaps save some money. You should also plan your actual trip, book accommodations — and set a schedule for getting all of this done.

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10 — Commit To Your Decision

Don’t procrastinate or reconsider your decision. You’ve decided, so get going! Dedicate yourself to making your decision work. If you are hesitant because you are unsure of your decision or are considering various options or changes, then your decision has not accomplished anything.

DECIDE, then DO. Making a decision can be very difficult. Because you want to get it right, you may spend an endless amount of time considering just what you should do. If however, you do not follow through, you will not enjoy the rewards that your decision can bring you. If you wait too long thinking about whether to apply for that new job, for instance, someone else may fill out the application and get the job. You will miss out!

11 — Have A Backup Plan

You won’t make the best decision every time. Nobody does. Sometimes, a lack of time or information may force you to make hasty or uninformed decisions. Having said that, you probably consider a number of options when making a decision. So, if your decision does not work out as you hoped, you may have the chance to “do it over” and try out another option, or just start the decision-making process anew.

12 — Assess Your Decisions

People often neglect to think about their past decisions. However, analyzing and evaluating past decisions can help you make better ones in the future. When you examine your decisions, you will be able to identify which ones went well, which ones did not — and most importantly — why.

This will help you when you consider your next decision. Ask yourself questions like:

Was I satisfied with the result of my decision?
Could I have done something differently or better?
What can I learn from it?

Learning how to make better decisions can significantly improve how you live your life. If your decision-making process is efficient, you will be able to make faster decisions and feel much more confident about them. You will save time and spare yourself a lot of agony.

As you can see from these tips, you CAN actually become a better decision-maker. Even applying just a few of these steps will lead to better decisions! So, what’s YOUR decision-making process like?

Are you impulsive?

Do you think things through?

Do you procrastinate a lot?

I really wanna know! Share your thoughts and comments below!

Source: https://medium.com/@abdelmalekel/12-tips-for-making-better-decisions-f600455fed79

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How To Bounce Back From Failure: 10 Habits That Sabotage Your Success

Never give up on yourself.

By Bryan Robinson, Ph.D. Psychotherapist in Private Practice and Author of 40 books.

Are you so afraid of failing that you’re willing to avoid any possibility of defeat? If so, you have already failed. Failure and success are flipsides of the same coin—twins, not enemies. You can’t have a right without a left, a back without a front, or a top without a bottom. Studies show that people recover quicker from automobile wrecks than psychological defeats. Smack down moments are unavoidable, and success is built on them. Avoidance of failure turns into avoidance of success. It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but to attain what you want you must be willing to accept what you don’t want.

Bummer, right? Not really. This frees you to get up and dust yourself off one more time than you fall and keep on going. Once you start to accept failure as an essential steppingstone to success, you can give yourself permission to stick your neck out and make the mistakes necessary to get where you want to go.

Bounce Back Higher Than You Fall

After a letdown, the key is to harness the strength in the places where you feel broken and bounce back higher than you fall. You build a backbone of steel by making sure after each failure that you try again, and if you fail again, make sure you fail better than the time before. Failure offers you an opportunity to grow and learn from your shortcomings. Failure is a frame of mind. You don’t actually fail until you choose to put that label on yourself. When you call yourself a failure, you start to feel, think, and behave like one. If you’re like most people, you won’t succeed at everything the first time, and every unsuccessful attempt isn’t a failure as long as you continue to try. If you want to succeed, think of failure as your teacher—your personal trainer—constantly raising the exercise bar so you can learn from your mistakes.

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10 Habits that Sabotage Your Success

You want to change in order to succeed, right? But if you’re like many people, you set out in the wrong direction, unwittingly returning to your crappy old habits and behave in ways that take you down the opposite path of defeat. If you want to get closer to success, avoid the following 10 habits, so even if you do fail, you can fail better on each attempt, bounce higher, and stay on track:

1. Don’t have a plan.

You can fail if you don’t know what you want. And if you don’t know where you’re going, you never get there.

Develop a game plan so you know where you’re going and when you get there. If you have a definite goal that you’re setting out to achieve, a purpose that you’re trying to fill, you’re more likely to succeed.

2. Set unreasonable standards.

You can sabotage your success by setting unreachable deadlines that are humanly impossible to achieve. They’re called deadlines for a reason. You can kill yourself trying to make them, and if you’re dead you can’t succeed.

Set realistic lifelines that can give you more time, slow you down, and make you more productive and effective. When you set lifelines instead of deadlines, you’re less likely to hear that whooshing sound as deadlines go by or feel that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach for falling short. Work smarter and less. You’ll get more done, have fewer health problems, and live longer.

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3. Avoid failure.

People-pleasing and procrastination are two ways to play it safe and avoid taking risks. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. If you’re a people-pleaser, you avoid being judged and whittle yourself down to a stub. Procrastination provides you freedom from failure, too, in the short term, even though it derails your success in the long run.

Success happens outside of your comfort zone. Studies show that you have a greater chance of success if you stick your neck out. Be a creative risk taker, step into the unfamiliar and unpredictable, and stretch beyond customary bounds. Accept failure with open arms, learn from it, and take the perspective that failure happens for you, not to you.

4. Maintain a negative outlook.

Step back from challenges and stack your positivity deck. Focus on solutions instead of problems, look at the upside of a downside situation, and pinpoint an opportunity in every difficulty. Remember the personal resources you have at your disposal to overcome roadblocks. Look for gains in your loses and beginnings in your endings. Optimism rubs off, so hang out with positive people who lift you up. Studies show that optimists scale the success ladder faster and higher than pessimists.

5. Beat yourself up.

Coming down hard on yourself when you forget or make a mistake reduces your chances of rebounding. Extinguish your blame thrower, put down your gavel, and chill your faultfinder. Studies show that you’re more likely to achieve success through a healthy dose of self-compassion. After a setback, be kind to yourself. Talk yourself off the ledge, and give yourself pep talks, atta-girls or atta-boys, and positive affirmations. Give yourself a thumbs-up every time you reach a milestone or important accomplishment.

6. Take setbacks personally.

When things don’t work out to suit you, do you say you’re jinxed, or blame it on Murphy’s Law (if something can go wrong, it certainly will)? When you personalize everyday random events into a negative life pattern, you lose your power and make yourself a victim of defeat.

If you want to empower yourself, make a U-turn when things are headed in a negative direction. Shift your perspective to see that life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against you. Focus on what you can do: “How can I make this situation work to my advantage?” or “Can I find something positive in this negative situation?” or “What can I manage or overcome in this instance?” Progression (success) and regression (failure) go together like a hand and glove. Falling back is part of moving forward. Success isn’t an upward straight line; it’s a zigzag back and forward until you reach your goals.

7. Ignore your physical and mental health.

Many ambitious people consider stress and burnout as the price to pay for success and a badge of honor for the sacrifice. But studies show the opposite to be true.

Amped-up self-care is the cornerstone for success: ample sleep, good nutrition, and regular exercise. Take time out of the daily grind to quiet your mind, meditate, take a power nap, or spend time in nature. Idle moments of mindfulness without imperatives—nothing to rush to, fix, or accomplish—actually contribute to your mental and physical health: greater productivity, better memory, stronger immune system, fewer health problems, greater happiness, and longer life. Doing nothing provides a period for important decisions to incubate and cultivates clarity and creativity to make your goals a reality.

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8. Refuse to take advice or be a team player.

Collaboration with others and learning from them is essential for success. It’s important to have a mind of your own and march to your own drum, but don’t be a know-it-all. Listen to those with tried and true experience who have gone before you. Reach out to others who have already accomplished what you’re working toward and understand what you’re going through. They might give you wise advice that will change your perspective and fuel your efforts to your goals.

9. Bolster your perfectionism.

In its clutches, perfectionism tightens you in a stranglehold, injects its rigidity into your bloodstream, and chokes the flow of spontaneous and flexible ideas. Perfection’s iron-fisted grip can cause you to set unrealistic goals, try too hard, and then avoid the impossible target you set for yourself. When you tell yourself nothing you do is good enough and shackle yourself to accept nothing short of perfect, you increase your chances of defeat. There’s no such thing as perfection. Your human condition is characterized by imperfection, so give yourself permission to be an imperfect human, to make mistakes, or to forget. Learn from your mistakes and be a master of self-correction. The paradox is that letting go of perfectionism, instead of slowing you down, propels you along the path to success.

10. Label yourself a loser.

Your biggest obstacle to success lies between your own two eyes. When you call yourself a failure, you identify with the very habit that limits you. You give tacit approval to fail and accept the label as you. This gives you unspoken permission to act as a person worthy of the label “loser,” and you repeat the habit of falling short in most things you do.

Labels are for jars and cans, not for you. Think of failure as a part of you, not as you. Stepping back and observing this part with an impartial eye lessens the self-judgment and keeps you from clobbering yourself. Refer to your failure in the third person and befriend it by talking to it so it doesn’t dominate your decision-making. Studies show that this strategy helps you to separate from the failure, for it to relax, and for the ambitious you to take charge of the task. When you practice this approach, you notice a heightened ability to scale the obstacles to success that the label throws in your way.

Source: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-bounce-back-from-failure-10-habits-that-sabotage-your-success/

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A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

With love and respect

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What Is Grit and How to Develop It for a Successful Life

Written By: Ashley Elizabeth

Have you ever met someone who thrives through adversity, and who transforms their pain into opportunities for growth? In her book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth describes these types of people as possessing grit. From her research, she has found that grit is what separates those who are successful from those who fail.

So, what is grit, you may ask?

Passion + Perseverence = Achievement

In the words of Angela Duckworth herself,

“Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out, and not just for the week, not just for the month, but years.”

The problem that a lot of people face is that they seek the shortcut to success. They want to work less while still achieving more. Unfortunately, that’s not how success works.

If you want to achieve your goals, you have to be willing to do anything and everything. I believe that the most meaningful goals require an insane amount of hard work, determination, discipline, commitment, and sacrifice. But get real with yourself — are you ready to go all-in? How bad do you want to succeed?

Why Is Grit Important?

Nothing of value in life comes easily. Success is never a coincidence.

Research indicates that the ability to be gritty — to stick with things that are important to you and bounce back from failure — is an essential component of success.^[1]

You can have all the talent in the world, but you will never achieve your goals without effort. This is why grit is the foundation of success.

What Are the Characteristics of Grit?

The good news is that grit can be developed and mastered over time. However, you first need to adopt a growth mindset. Unfortunately, many people have a fixed mindset.

They are conditioned to believe that their intelligence cannot improve. While a fixed mindset is based in “I can” or “I can’t,” a growth mindset celebrates the journey from “I can’t” to “I can.”^[2]

Do you see your intelligence as fixed, or do you believe that you can grow and change?

Below are the characteristics of grit. Reflect upon the ones that you resonate with the most and still need to strengthen.

Passion

Where there is passion, there is always a purpose. Passionate people know themselves inside and out. They have a clear understanding of their values, beliefs, and needs.

More importantly, they live in alignment with their truth and inspire others to do the same. Living with passion is about paying attention to and following what makes you come alive inside.

Not everyone will understand your path in life, and that’s okay. True grit is being able to tune out others’ judgments and stay in your lane.

Perseverance

I’ve never met a strong person who had an easy-breezy past. Persevering, despite all odds, is about learning how to sit with your darkness and soften into the discomfort.

The only difference between those who succeed versus those who fail is their willingness to persevere and continue failing forward. It’s knowing that your desire to achieve your dreams burns brighter than any obstacle.

Learn how to embrace discomfort and use pain as a tool to grow and become more. Celebrate yourself every step of the way and don’t stop until you’re insanely proud of the person you’ve become.

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Resilience

Gritty people are resilient, in the sense that they thrive through adversity. They reframe every challenge as an opportunity and do the work to become the master of their emotions.

Research reveals that resilience is a test of how tough you are. Instead, it has everything to do with your willingness to keep trying after others have given up.^[3]

Resilient people are conscious enough to know when it is time to surrender to the rollercoaster ride of life. Their ability to soften into what is can make room for what will be.

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What Is an Example of Grit?

It was like any other day in my life. I got on my motorcycle and rode off. Because I was just going up the road, I decided not to wear my helmet. Little did I know that this sudden decision would change my entire life.

I was supposed to be back home in 15 minutes, but that didn’t happen. Five minutes into riding my bike, I had an accident. I hit my head on the pavement, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and was rushed to the hospital to undergo surgery.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. This experience left me with PTSD, post-concussion syndrome, chronic pain, and anxiety.

However, it also gave me a second chance to recreate my life and develop unshakeable mental strength and grit.

It’s been three years since my accident. I’m not the same person that I used to be. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I chose to transform my pain into power. To this day, I continue to pull upon my grit. It has become my superpower.

Let me be clear: I’m not special. I was just willing to do what was challenging for many. Giving up was never an option. How I have responded to my knockdowns has determined my success in life.

The obstacles that I faced along my healing journey (and still do to this day) had given me a strength that I never knew I had. Pain can be a gift if you are willing to find its meaning behind all the mess.

When you have the courage to use your pain as motivational strength, you will realize that there is nothing you cannot overcome.

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How Do You Develop Grit?

Grit is like a muscle that you train and flex at the gym. You need to do the same thing with your mind. Let’s explore what you can do to build mental toughness every day.

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

The fastest way to master anything is to practice and repeat it. To persevere, you have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. This is how you flex your grit muscle.

At the end of the day, grit comes down to what habits you engage in daily. It’s about doing the things you know you’re supposed to do on a more consistent basis that will contribute to your success.^[4]

The more that you invest in your personal growth, the more skilled you will become. In turn, you can keep doing the things that you excel at.

2. Connect With Your Purpose

Gritty people live on purpose.

After studying 16,000 people, Duckworth found that “grittier people are dramatically more motivated than others to seek a meaningful, other-centered life.”^[5]

The next time that you encounter an obstacle that tries to take you off course, reconnect with your why. It will be the one thing that motivates you to keep moving forward, even when you feel like throwing in the towel.

3. Don’t Give Up

When things get difficult, do you give up easily or use your low moments to push yourself forward and become stronger?

Gritty people look a challenge dead in the eye and give it a wink. They don’t quit until they win.

The only failure in life is quitting. Life is supposed to be messy. You’re supposed to fail. It’s a core part of the human experience. All that matters is how you respond to failure.

It’s okay if you fall seven times, as long as you make sure that you stand up on the eighth time. If you can master the art of never giving up, there is no limit to what you can achieve in life.

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The Bottom Line

You have one life, so make it a masterpiece.

The only limitations standing in your way are the ones in your mind. When you master your mind, you master your life.

Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Strive to be a gritty person in every area of your life.

Your future self will thank you for it.

Source: https://www.lifehack.org/884651/what-is-grit

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I’ll be better than yesterday, personally, professionally and financially

A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

With love and respect