20 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Feel Like Giving Up

Adapted from: Sinope, “Everything is Awful and I’m Not Okay: Questions to Ask Before Giving Up.”​​

Life can feel impossible sometimes. There’s never enough time to get all of the homework done, break-ups happen, the relationship with your parents might be rocky, and friendships go through conflict. Sometimes things can get so overwhelming that you might want to crawl into your bed and never leave the safety of your covers. Or maybe your thoughts are more serious, and you’ve considered ending your life to escape your situation. No matter what you are going through, just know that you can get through this. Here are 20 questions to ask yourself if you are feeling hopeless, helpless, or just down in the dumps.

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Take advantage of all the opportunities available to you 
  1. Did you take a shower today? If you have not bathed yourself in the past 24 hours, go do it right now.
  2. Have you eaten anything healthy in the past few hours? Candy bars and soda don’t cut it. Go eat something that can give your body healthy energy, like a banana, a handful of nuts, or a piece of cheese.
  3. Have you had any water to drink in the past hour? Being dehydrated can make anyone feel terrible. Go drink some water.
  4. Did you get enough sleep last night? If not, take a nap. Go to bed an hour or two earlier tonight. Sleep is critically important for good mental health, so make sure you are getting enough on a daily basis.
  5. Have you gone on a walk in the past 24 hours? Not just a walk to the bathroom or fridge, but a walk that lasts around 30 minutes. If going outside is not an option for you, walk around the mall or a large store.
  6. Is it daytime, and are you dressed? Take off your pajamas and get cleaned up. Wear something that you really like, such as a dress, nice shirt, or your favorite pair of shoes. Put on make-up. Shave.
  7. Is it nighttime, and you can’t sleep? Go get your pajamas on. Fill your bed up with blankets, pillows, or stuffed animals. Put all electronics away, and then lay down with your eyes closed for 15 minutes. It might help to turn on a noise machine, fan, or an hour long YouTube video with the sound of rain falling.
  8. Do you feel unproductive? Think of a small thing you can do today (i.e. make your bed, respond to an email, fold a load of clean laundry, do a homework assignment). Set a timer for how long you think it should take, then see if you can beat your guess. The timer will keep you motivated and make the task slightly more fun.  
  9. Any recent medication changes? If you’ve been put on (or taken off) of a medication, missed a dose, or have been switched to a generic brand, this can really throw your body and mind for a loop. Wait a few days and see if things improve, but if they do not, give your doctor a call and let them know.
  10. Do you feel unattractive? ​Go back to question 6, then take a selfie. Be your own best friend and identify at least 2 things from the picture that you like about yourself.
  11. Did you sing today or dance today? If not, turn on a song you know by heart, move to music, and sing at the top of your lungs.
  12. Do you feel frozen by a major decision you have to make? Put your major decision on the backburner for a few hours and focus on the tasks you need to accomplish for the day. Give yourself permission not to think about the decision while you work on the things you need to get done. At the end of the day, jot down your thoughts about your decision. Repeat this process until things become clear to you. The right decision will come to you at the right time.
  13. Have you hugged someone recently? If not, it’s time to go approach a friend, parent, sibling, or even your pet to get a hug. You may be surprised at how some basic physical contact can turn even the worst day around.
  14. Have you given someone a compliment in the past 24 hours? If not, go do it. This could be on social media or in person. Look for a quality that you admire and then let them know.
  15. Do your friends know what you’re going through? If not, call them right now and tell them. It’s important that you let other people know how you’re feeling.
  16. Are you focused forward, or do you dwell on the past? Past events and things in this moment may be painful– but what about in a month, a year, 5 years? You never know what wonderful things may be around the corner for you. Allow yourself to hope and dream; set goals, and look at the road ahead instead of your rearview mirror.
  17. When is the last time you’ve told your story? It’s important to write or talk about what you have been through. Write about your journey in a journal or via a blog.
  18. Have you exhausted yourself lately- physically, socially, emotionally, or intellectually? Giving a lot of yourself to any activity can take a toll that might last for a few days. Think of yourself as a battery- you need time to recharge after you’ve used up your energy. Be gentle with yourself, and take time to recoup. Maybe that looks like watching a funny movie, spending time alone, or sleeping a few extra hours this week.
  19. Have you waited a week? When life starts to get you down, it’s easy to feel like things have always been this way, even when that’s not true. Today, it’s important that you make a commitment to keep yourself going for a week, whatever it takes. If you are still feeling this way seven days from now, get help from someone you trust. You deserve to feel better and there is a lot of help out there for you. Never give up.
  20. Have you talked to a counselor recently? If you do not have a counselor, give one of ours a call (for free!): 1-800-448-3000. If you have a counselor, make an appointment and talk about what’s going on in your life.

On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%. And that’s pretty good.-

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Source: https://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pages/tip-20-questions-to-ask-yourself-if-you-feel-like-giving-up.aspx

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9 Little Habits That Make You a Better Decision Maker

By Amy Morin, LCSW

Knowing how to make good decisions—like what to wear to a job interview or how to invest your money—could be the key to living your best life. And being able to make those decisions in a timely manner and feeling confident about your decision-making skills could save you a lot of time and hassle.

Fortunately, everyone can take steps to become better decision-makers. If you want to become a better decision-maker, incorporate these nine daily habits into your life.

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  1. Take Note of Your Overconfidence

Overconfidence can easily make your judgment go awry.1 Studies consistently show people tend to overestimate their performance as well as the accuracy of their knowledge.

Perhaps you are 90% sure you know where the office is that you’re visiting. Or maybe you’re 80% certain you can convince your boss to give you a promotion. If you’re overconfident about those things, your plans are likely to go awry.

It’s especially important to consider your confidence level in terms of time management. Most people overestimate how much they can accomplish in a certain period of time. Do you think it will only take you one hour to finish that report? Do you predict you’ll be able to pay your online bills in 30 minutes? You might find you’re overconfident in your predictions.

Take time every day to estimate the likelihood that you’ll be successful. Then at the end of the day, review your estimates. Were you as accurate as you thought?

Good decision-makers recognize areas in their lives where overconfidence could be a problem. Then they adjust their thinking and their behavior accordingly.

  • 2. Identify the Risks You Take

Familiarity breeds comfort. And there’s a good chance you make some poor decisions simply because you’ve grown accustomed to your habits and you don’t think about the danger you’re in or the harm you’re causing.

For example, you might speed on your way to work every day. Each time you arrive safely without a speeding ticket, you become a little more comfortable with driving fast. But clearly, you’re jeopardizing your safety and taking a legal risk.

Or maybe you eat fast food for lunch every day. Since you don’t suffer any immediate signs of ill health, you might not see it as a problem. But over time, you may gain weight or experience other health issues as a consequence.

Identify habits that have become commonplace. These are things that require little thought on your part because they’re automatic. Then take some time to evaluate which of them might be harmful or unhealthy, and create a plan to develop healthier daily habits.

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  • 3. Frame Your Problems In a Different Way

The way you pose a question or a problem plays a major role in how you’ll respond and how you’ll perceive your chances of success.2

Imagine two surgeons. One surgeon tells his patients, “Ninety percent of people who undergo this procedure live.” The other surgeon says, “Ten percent of people who undergo this procedure die.”

The facts are the same. But research shows people who hear “10 percent of people die” perceive their risk to be much greater.

So when you’re faced with a decision, frame the issue differently. Take a minute to think about whether the slight change in wording affects how you view the problem.

  • 4. Stop Thinking About the Problem

When you’re faced with a tough choice, like whether to move to a new city or change careers, you might spend a lot of time thinking about the pros and cons or the potential risks and rewards.

And while science shows there is plenty of value in thinking about your options, overthinking your choices can actually be a problem. Weighing the pros and cons for too long may increase your stress level to the point that you struggle to make a decision.

Studies show there’s a lot of value in letting an idea “incubate.” Non-conscious thinking is surprisingly astute. So consider sleeping on a problem.

Or get yourself involved in an activity that takes your mind off a problem. Let your brain work through things in the background and you’re likely to develop clear answers.

  • 5. Set Aside Time to Reflect on Your Mistakes

Whether you left the house without an umbrella and got drenched on the way to work, or you blew your budget because you couldn’t resist an impulse purchase, set aside time to reflect on your mistakes.

Make it a daily habit to review the choices you made throughout the day. When your decisions don’t turn out well, ask yourself what went wrong. Look for the lessons that can be gained from each mistake you make.

Just make sure you don’t dwell on your mistakes for too long. Rehashing your missteps over and over again isn’t good for your mental health.

Keep your reflection time limited—perhaps 10 minutes per day is enough to help you think about what you can do better tomorrow. Then take the information you’ve gained and commit to making better decisions moving forward.

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  • 6. Acknowledge Your Shortcuts

Although it can be a bit uncomfortable to admit, you’re biased in some ways. It’s impossible to be completely objective.

In fact, your mind has created mental shortcuts—referred to as heuristics—that help you make decisions faster. And while these mental shortcuts keep you from toiling for hours over every little choice you make, they can also steer you wrong.

The availability heuristic, for example, involves basing decisions on examples and information that immediately spring to mind. So if you watch frequent news stories that feature house fires, you’re likely to overestimate the risk of experiencing a house fire.

Or if you’ve recently consumed a lot of news about plane crashes, you may think your chances of dying in a plane crash are higher than a car crash (even though statistics show otherwise).

Make it a daily habit to consider the mental shortcuts that lead to bad decisions. Acknowledge the incorrect assumptions you may make about people or events and you may be able to become a little more objective.

7. Consider the Opposite

Once you’ve decided something is true, you’re likely to cling to that belief. It’s a psychological principle known as belief perseverance. It takes more compelling evidence to change a belief than it did to create it, and there’s a good chance you’ve developed some beliefs that don’t serve you well.

For example, you might assume you’re a bad public speaker, so you avoid speaking up in meetings. Or you might believe you are bad at relationships, so you stop going on dates.

You’ve also developed beliefs about certain groups of people. Perhaps you believe, “People who work out a lot are narcissists,” or “Rich people are evil.”

Those beliefs that you assume are always true or 100 percent accurate can lead you astray. The best way to challenge your beliefs is to argue the opposite.

If you’re convinced you shouldn’t speak up in a meeting, argue all the reasons why you should. Or if you’re convinced rich people are bad, list reasons why wealthy people may be kind or helpful.  

Considering the opposite will help breakdown unhelpful beliefs so you can look at situations in another light and decide to act differently.

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  • 8. Label Your Emotions

People are often more inclined to say things like, “I have butterflies in my stomach,” or “I had a lump in my throat,” rather than use feeling words, like sad or nervous, to describe their emotional state.

Many adults just aren’t comfortable talking about their feelings. But labeling your emotions can be the key to making better decisions.

Your feelings play a huge role in the choices you make.3 Studies consistently show anxiety makes people play it safe. And anxiety spills over from one area of someone’s life to another.

So if you’re nervous about the mortgage application you just filed, you might be less likely to ask someone out on a date because you’ll think it sounds too risky.

Excitement, on the other hand, can make you overestimate your chances of success. Even if there’s only a small likelihood you’ll succeed, you might be willing to take a big risk if you’re excited about the potential payoffs (this is often the case with gambling).

Make it a daily habit to label your feelings. Note whether you’re feeling sad, angry, embarrassed, anxious, or disappointed. Then take a minute to consider how those emotions may be influencing your decisions.

  • 9. Talk to Yourself Like a Trusted Friend

When faced with a tough choice, ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who had this problem?” You’ll likely find the answer comes to you more readily when you’re imagining yourself offering wisdom to someone else.

Talking to yourself like a trusted friend takes some of the emotion out of the equation. It will help you gain some distance from the decision and will give you an opportunity to be a little more objective.

It will also help you to be a little kinder to yourself.4 While you may be likely to say negative things to yourself like, “This will never work. You can’t do anything right,” there’s a good chance you wouldn’t say that to your friend. Perhaps you’d say something more like, “You’ve got this. I know you can do it,” if you were talking to a friend.

Developing a kinder inner dialogue takes practice. But when you make self-compassion a daily habit, your decision-making skills will improve.

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12 Tips to Improve Self-Awareness and Develop Your Potential

By Marydel Mitch Flores

Before knowing anything else, you need to know yourself first. You need to know your weaknesses, strengths, beliefs and desires in life. Keeping in touch with your emotions means, you have to be self-aware.

The most important characteristic of a leader is self-awareness, the ability to monitor one’s own emotions and reactions. Learning how to be aware of yourself might not be easy, but if you can master this skill, it will help you become a much more effective leader. Many of us are not fond of spending much time on self-reflection. And even though personal feedback is presented, people are not always open to it because honest feedback isn’t always flattering. Thus, many people indeed have a low level of self-awareness.

However, self-awareness can help you identify opportunities for professional development and personal growth. If you want to improve your self-awareness and develop your potential, I listed down 12 tips that might help you.

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1. Know Your Strengths And Weaknesses

Knowing your strengths and coping with your weaknesses, will help you improve self-awareness. Each of us has strengths and weaknesses that compose who we are and this will help you shape how to reach your goals. Your weaknesses hold you back from achieving many great things while your strengths are something that comes very easily for you to take. You should take ownership of assessing yourself because it is for your own personal development.

2. Ask For Feedback And Listen

This might not be easy, most especially if you are close-minded and defensive to people who give critiques to you. Remember that without correction, your weaknesses would limit how far you could take yourself. Asking feedback can be as hurtful as it can be empowering. Although no one enjoys it, we should try to view criticism as useful feedback to improve ourselves. It will help you learn more about the traits that you need to develop, personally and professionally.

3. Develop Intuitive Decision-Making Skills

Intuition plays a significant role in developing your self-awareness. This can be the source of significant errors in the course of decision-making. Your intuition will help you navigate faster yet, this can also be misled if too many of your facts are wrong. Moreover, this will help you, even more, this is an effective way to feed your subconscious mind.

4. Know Your Emotional Triggers

Identifying what exactly emotionally triggers you can be challenging but getting to know and understanding it, can help you improve yourself. The key to coping with it, is to catch yourself reacting when your emotions are triggered. As long as you noticed that you are emotionally reacting, you just have to shift your emotional state in order to think through it.

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5. Set Boundaries

Keeping your boundaries firmly will help you maintain the integrity of your goals and the work you put into it. Setting your boundaries and sustaining them, is a skill. However, it is a skill that many people don’t learn. Recognizing it means knowing and understanding your limits. Also, it takes courage and support but is a skill you can master that will help you develop yourself.

6. Practice Self-Discipline

In every area of your life, you need to practice self-discipline. It is a trait that provides you with the enduring focus necessary for you. If you want to control your desires and impulses to stay focused on what you think needs to get done to successfully achieve that goal, you need to practice self-discipline. This will also help you develop your potential and improve your awareness since self-discipline helps you form habits to attain your goals in life.

7. Keep An Open-Mind

One of the most difficult things to practice is to keep an open mind. Understanding someone’s point of view even if you disagree can change and free your mind. Change the way you think and don’t get stuck in a mindset that makes you frustrated or helpless. This is one of the best tools in order to simplify life. Try to comprehend every situation on your path and it will help you improve your self-awareness and develop your own potential.

Explore the possibilities and much more!

8. Take Psychometric Tests

While there are plenty of online tests, grab them as long as you can, because this might help you find out if you are an Idealist, rational, artisan, or guardian. There are also, other best-known tests like Myers-Briggs and Predictive Index but all of these are aimed at serving as a data point towards greater self-awareness. Reflecting on trade-off questions helps test-takers better understand their own true characters.

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9. Try New Experiences

Exploring new things will teach you a thing about yourself. This is all about stepping out of your comfort zone and trying to do something you’ve never done before. Unfamiliar things will help you respond in different ways that you never thought is possible. Traveling alone is also another way to discover things about yourself.

10. Discover Your Physical Limits

What has physical exercise got to do with self-awareness and in developing yourself? Well, it will teach you, that your limits are not fixed but temporary. Most importantly, it will show you that everything you’re holding back is just in your head.

11. Motivate Yourself

Whatever has to be done, is always your choice. Sometimes you might feel heavy as you rise and it is hard to get going. However, feeling less motivated too often has been unhealthy. Motivating yourself and viewing life on a positive side will help you develop your potential and self-awareness. In addition, awareness of your psychological needs can increase your motivation by helping you understand and seek out the reward that you desire.

12. Meditate

Meditation is a practice of improving your moment-by-moment awareness. Meditation usually begins with appreciating, focusing on, inhaling and exhaling. However, this doesn’t need to be formal or ritualistic. Just simply find a few seconds to focus on your breathing, often before sleep. Also, meditation can be helpful if you ask yourself a set of questions like “what can I do to change?”, “what am I trying to achieve?”, or “How am I going to cope with my fears?”

Being self-aware and understanding how you are perceived by others are important components of personal growth and developing your potential. Some might ask, what is the importance of self-awareness? Well, self-awareness will help you improve yourself, establish your own identity and will help you have a harmonious relationship.

Thus, developing self-awareness takes time, a lot of effort and practice. It requires a person to pay attention to his own personality and behavior.

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12 Tips to Improve Self-Awareness and Develop Your Potential

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12 Simple Ways to Create Momentum in Your Day

Written by JOSHUA BECKER

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“I challenge you to make your life the masterpiece you want to paint, the novel you want to read, the day you want to wake to.” ―Toni Sorenson

“Eat your frog” is a popular life tip for conquering procrastination and accomplishing more. It is based on the best-selling book, Eat That Frog: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time which is founded on a Mark Twain quote that goes like this, “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

The idea behind the tip is relatively simple: Do your least-favorite, most-important task first thing in the morning. You can spend the rest of your day knowing you’ve accomplished something difficult. And easily find the energy and motivation to accomplish more-enjoyable tasks.

I understand the premise of the productivity tip, I really do. I know a large number of crazy successful people who swear by it. And sometimes, it is the perfect way to start your day.

But other times, it is more important and effective to simply build some momentum into your day first. If you are familiar with athletics in any capacity, you already know the importance of momentum. You understand how one little success can change the demeanor of an entire team—one turnover, one blocked shot, one forehand winner down the line. Momentum begins to grow, confidence builds, and the impossible becomes achievable.

In a similar fashion, a good friend of mine makes her bed every single morning. It helps her room and house look cleaner. But more importantly, she says it sets the stage for the rest of her day. One small accomplishment within seconds of waking up. One task completed. Even though small, the brain registers the completed task as a success—and puts momentum for the day on her side.

Little victories lead to big victories. Small accomplishments lead to larger ones. Momentum builds. We begin to feel productive. And the impossible becomes achievable.

Of course, we know that not everyone who makes their bed in the morning has an entirely productive day. Often times, momentum begins to wane as setbacks occur and realities of the day set in. But when they do, our most productive step is to look again for a small victory. Compete one small task in its entirety and rebuild momentum. This principle holds true in almost every pursuit—academics, business, homemaking, and parenting, just to name a few.

How then, might we go about creating this momentum in our lives? What are some opportunities available to us each day?

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12 Simple Opportunities to Create Momentum in Your Day

1. Make your bed. Gretchen Rubin, author of the Happiness Project, writes that when asking people what happiness-project resolution has made a big difference in their happiness, many people cite the modest “Make your bed.” It is quick and easy. Available every morning. And makes a big difference.

2. Cook your breakfast. There is something very satisfying about giving yourself enough time in the morning to cook your breakfast. And while Paul DeJoe believes in taking the time to craft the World’s Greatest Omelet, sometimes just allowing enough time to cook scrambled eggs, toast, and juice is enough to get the momentum in your corner.

3. Take a shower. Whether you work at home or the office, starting your day with a fresh slate both mentally and physically can be very helpful. I have been working from home for the last 4 months and have found one of the most important keys to productivity is simply taking a shower, getting dressed, and putting on shoes before I get started.

4.  Eat a healthy lunch. Lunches can be pretty hit-or-miss sometimes. We make a sandwich, grab leftovers from the fridge, or make a quick trip through the drive-thru. Often times, our choices set us back for the entire afternoon. Become intentional about eating a healthy lunch. Your body will be energized for the rest of the workday. And your mind will take pride in the healthy accomplishment.

5. Hit the gym. Go for a run/walk. Recently, running has become one of my favorite afternoon momentum builders. But when I had less flexibility in my workday, spending 45 minutes at the local gym before arriving at the office had significant influence on my day. I used a number of different workout routines over the years, but when I wanted something effective, short, and full-body, I used the Geek-to-Freak workout routine championed by Tim Ferriss.

6. Create a to-do list. I always work better with a to-do list in front of me. It focuses my attention and motivation. And sometimes, just taking the time to write one down can be a helpful step in the right direction.

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7. Complete an enjoyable, challenging activity. We all have things we enjoy doing more than others. When you sense your productivity beginning to fade, choose something productive that you’ll enjoy completing. Make it challenging and productive and you’ll begin to feel a change in your attitude towards the less-enjoyable tasks.

8. Take 5 minutes to clean up one small area in your environment. Whether at home or the office, taking a small break from your current project to clean out an area can help clear your workspace and your mind. Remove distractions by clearing off your desk or bookcase. Clean your surfaces or quickly sort out a drawer. The feeling is great. And with the clutter removed, you will be a more efficient worker on the other side.

9. Write 750 words. Whatever your skill set, the process of sitting down to write words can be beneficial. It stimulates your brain and helps to clarify your thoughts. As Dawson Trotman once said, “Thoughts disentangle themselves when they pass through the lips and fingertips.” The words don’t even need to be shared. Just commit to writing 750 words (or you could try 500) about anything on your heart. You’ll find it therapeutic. And probably far more momentum-building than you ever thought.

10. Wash the dishes after dinner. The intentional habit of washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen after meals is an important one for me. It is the final step in our family meal. It is an important accomplishment. And when the kitchen is clean, evenings feel freer and more alive.

11. Reset your home before going to bed. Find a simple, 10-minute evening routine that works for you and your family. You will end your day on a note of accomplishment and start your morning with a clean slate. Even at the end of the day, you can build momentum for the next. And your mind will be less cluttered at the office tomorrow if your living area is less cluttered at home.

12. Make out with your spouse. Seriously. He’ll be happy. She’ll be happy. And ideally, both of you will feel fulfilled afterwards. Whether this is accomplished in the morning, afternoon, or evening, everyone feels better about themselves and more prepared for the far less-exciting responsibilities that lie ahead.

Your most important work needs to be completed. But sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is set yourself up for success in a small way. And allow momentum to carry you forward.

Explore the possibilities and much more!

Source: https://www.becomingminimalist.com/if-you-build-it/

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10 Best Books to Read When You Want to Quit

By Ian Warner

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Sometimes you want to give up on whatever you’re working towards. It could be because you are frustrated and don’t know what to do next.

It could also be that you’re bored and looking for the next big thing. Here is what you need to know, these best books, when you want to quit list will light you on fire and help you to hang in there. 

Success takes time. You spend years working below the surface with little recognition or proof that things are going to work out. The logical thing to do is to turn back and run towards safety.

The problem is that the most successful people are not reasonable. They lean into difficulty because they know that success is on the other side of it.

I created the best books for when you want to quit, based on books that have helped me to hang on to my dream throughout the years. 

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10 Best Books to Read When You Want to Quit

#10 – Total Recall

Arnold managed to take his life from nothing to something. To be able to move from Austria, become a bodybuilding champion, earn his first million from real estate, make movies, and still be able to become the governor of California is impressive.

He was not able to do this because he has something special in him that we don’t have. He was able to do this because he knew what he wanted before he got started. If there is any story that will story you to keep going and to use your disadvantages to your advantage, it’s this one.

#9 – Power of Broke

One of the biggest excuses people make for quitting or not trying is being broke. Entrepreneur and Shark Tank investor Daymond John breaks down how other successful people used being broke to successful. 

The very thing that most people use as a weakness he and many others have used to create wealth and start movements. My favorite story in this book is of Under Armor founder Kevin Plank. After reading this, you will be ready to keep pushing forward no matter where you are. 

#8 – The People’s Tycoon

Henry Ford went on to create the horseless carriage. He built the Ford Motor Company from the ground up and was known for paying his people well, while also selling a car that was affordable for everyone.

What many people don’t know is that he failed many times before starting Ford. He had tried for many years to get this horseless carriage idea off the ground but continued to fail. He had everyone reason to quit and ultimately stop working. He kept pushing and managed to build a massive company.

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# 7 – Love Does

Love Does an exciting book. There is one story in particular in this story that stands out when it comes to not quitting. It’s so good that it’s worth reading the whole book for it. The author tells you how he goes on to become a lawyer after not getting into law school. It’s one of the best examples of persistence that I can remember. 

#6 When I Stop Talking You’ll Know I’m Dead

Jerry Weintraub is a massive name in Hollywood, but he is also behind the scenes, so many people don’t know him. He has accomplished a lot in his life, and this book is all about how he has been able to sell his way to the top.

He tells story after story of being persistent. He was willing to call Elvis every day for an entire year for the opportunity to work with him. That is just one story of many of his over the top ability to not give up.

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#5 -Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Grit does an excellent job breaking down some of the science behind success and what is required to be great at something. The author realizes that grit is a huge determining factor. Grit is a mix of passion and the ability to persevere.

Reading this book will inspire you to keep hanging on. When you realize that being great at anything means you have to survive difficult times, it makes it apparent that quitting will not solve your problems.

#4 – Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst The Rwandan Holocaust 

Left to Tell is about the genocide that happened in Rwanda. Most of the world completely ignored what was happening. Over a million people were slaughtered because they were from a different tribe. It represents one of the most senseless killing sprees in human history.

The author tells her story of how she survived and managed to recover from the massacre. The story will bring you to the depths of sorrow but also bring you to hope that forgiveness is always out there. The way the author can move forward with her life is just astonishing. 

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#3 – The War of Art

The War of Art is the shortest book to read on this list. It reads in almost a poetic way. The author does an incredible job explaining what it takes to be creative and do your best work. He introduces the idea of resistance and how it tries to stop you from completing your mission.

It just takes reading a few pages of this book each day to realize that quitting is only resistance. When you want to leave, it’s often just this world is trying to throw you off your game, so you don’t create your masterpiece.

#2 – The Obstacle is The Way

The obstacle is the Way says it all in the title. We spend way too much time wishing that obstacles were not present. They feel as if the barrier never came, success would have been ours. What this book helps you to grip is the fact that the obstacle is the path.

There is no getting around obstacles. Accomplishment comes with them built-in. If you want an easy life, you don’t get to live an accomplished life, and in the long run, you will have even more obstacles to deal with. If you’re not an entrepreneur in any capacity, then this book could make the argument for #1 on the best albums when you want to quit the list.

#1 -Three Feet From Gold

Three Feet From Gold is a must-read for when looking for the best books for new entrepreneurs. It has one of the best collections of stories from people who had to endure a lot to succeed. Evader Holyfield, Truett Cathy, and many more entrepreneurs give their take and advice on what it takes to succeed.

As an entrepreneur, you will face many times will you want to quit. This is a book that you on to tight in those moments when you want to give up prematurely. Three Feet From Gold is an easy call for the best books for when you want to quit the list.

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Source: https://thehabitstacker.com/10-best-books-to-read-when-you-want-to-quit/

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8 Things You Can Do to Increase Self-Confidence

By Mark Pettit, Time Management Coach and Business Coach at Lucemi Consulting

Are you looking to increase your self-confidence? One of the things that holds many people I talk to back from creating their ideal future is a fear of failure, and a lack of self-confidence to overcome it. Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one […]

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Are you looking to increase your self-confidence?

One of the things that holds many people I talk to back from creating their ideal future is a fear of failure, and a lack of self-confidence to overcome it.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

These people struggle with getting started, and taking action.

Rather than creating their own path towards achieving their biggest dreams, they are held back by a lack of self-confidence to overcome the fear of failure.

As people, especially if we don’t have the right support system around us, it’s something we all face.

The key questions then become:

How do you overcome the fear?

Can increasing your self-confidence help you overcome this fear?

The answer. 

By making an intentional commitment to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Then having the courage to work on increasing your self-confidence and self-esteem every day, even if the marginal gains feel small and it feels really difficult to do so.

When I talk to my business coaching clients about this commitment to increasing self-confidence I often use my gym experience as an example.

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A Brief Story About How to Increase Self-Confidence

I was pretty fearful of going to the gym for the first time as I really wanted to get in shape and I knew it would be hard.

In the gym I would be surrounded by people that had more knowledge, experience and just looked better than me.

The experience of trying new things and really stretching different muscles put me out of my comfort zone.

During my first session I got out of breath very quickly and felt a burn in my muscles that I’d never experienced before.

It was pretty uncomfortable and my head was spinning after just 10 minutes working out.

With certain exercises, I was focused on doing 10 reps but only managed to do five.

The next day my body ached and I wondered why I bothered to put myself through that experience.

Have you experienced a similar feeling?

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The thing is, when I went back the next day things got slightly easier and I was able to do a little bit more, and feel less out of breath.

I could run a little bit further and lift slightly heavier weights.

The process got easier the more I stuck with going to the gym.

Incremental gains were achieved every day that built up my self-confidence and motivation to continue.

Those incremental gains also reinforced my commitment and self-confidence to continue.

When I sat back and looked at what happened, when I looked at my experience I realised that this commitment and taking one small step at a time had helped my overcome that specific fear.

I have used the process of being committed and using courage to boost my self-confidence when I have a specific fearful situation on every occasion since the gym.

My capabilities had increased.

I could run faster for longer and lift heavier weights than I imagined.

Now, I still have fears, most of us do.

But now I know that I can overcome them and come out the other side with increased self-confidence.

This knowledge has helped me, and my coaching clients, overcome some of the fears we’ve faced, become mentally stronger, build our capabilities and increase our self-confidence in the process.

So, how can you overcome your own fear and boost self-confidence?

Your fears may be completely different than mine, but you aspire to truly be yourself and build your self-confidence.

Whether it’s public speaking, attending networking events, putting yourself out there, or tackling a scary project, we all have fears.

How to Increase Self-Confidence

If you are currently feeling low in self-esteem or self-confidence, is it possible to transform this feeling into one of higher self-esteem or self-confidence?

In the moment, during bouts of low confidence this may not seem possible, but I believe there are intentional actions you can take to increase your self-confidence.

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You have the internal power to take control of your confidence and change it to create higher levels of self-confidence.

By taking control of your life, and taking the opportunity to boost self-confidence, through intentional actions and habits you can increase your self-confidence without the help of others

Below, I run through 8 intentional actions you can take to increase your self-confidence.

These are a mix of proven strategies for my clients and some that have worked really well for me.

You don’t need to do all of them.  One or two may align with you more than others, so pick the ones that appeal most and give them a try.

If the ones you’re tried don’t work, try a different one to find the perfect actions to boost your self-confidence.

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Here are the 8 actions, in no specific order:

1. Increase Your Capabilities

How can you boost self-confidence? By increasing your capabilities.

And how do you do that?

By making a commitment and having the courage to follow through.

Through practice and achieving improvement every day.

Just do small bits at a time.

If you want to be a more competent speaker, for example, don’t try to speak in front of 100 people on your first go.

Just begin to speak more.

Speak at smaller networking events.  Record some short videos.

Talk to a small group of close friends or peers on a subject you know well.

The more you speak, the better you’ll be. That incremental improvement will boost self-confidence.

Set aside 15 minutes to practice speaking (for example), and the practice will increase your capabilities.

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2. Use Your Past as A Guide

Think back to a time when you achieved something but were fearful at the beginning.

What lessons can you learn?  How was your confidence when you achieved that thing?

Was there are process you went through to overcome that fear?

If you have a number of examples of overcoming fear, you may notice patterns of courage developing that you can use to overcome any current challenge that scares you.

This simple thinking exercise will prove to you that you have the ability to overcome things you are fearful about.

Knowledge of previous achievements can help boost self-confidence.

3. Start with Small Steps

Rather than jumping straight in and tackling the big frogs, set a small goal and achieve it.  This helps remove overwhelm.

People often make the mistake of shooting for something far bigger than their current capability.

When they fail, they get discouraged, frustrated and start beating themselves up for failing.

Instead, focus on achieving something you know you can achieve.

Once you’ve achieved it, you’ll feel good and self-confident.

Then, set another small goal and achieve that.

This builds positive momentum and belief.

You’ll develop new capabilities, and in turn boost self-confidence.

Soon you’ll be setting bigger goals and achieving those too.

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4. Focus on The Positive

Rather than focus on weaknesses that you wish to improve, focus on your strengths and expand them.

One of the things I learned when I started my coaching business, was how to replace negative thoughts (see next action) with positive ones.

My intentionally creating positive thoughts, and reframing bad situations into a positive focus, made great things happen.

With that tiny mind shift, I was able to get new clients quicker and stay confident and positive every day.

5. Stop Negative Self Talk

This is an essential mindset to master to increase your self-confidence.

You have to be aware of your own thinking and give yourself some time and space to think about your thinking.

Become more aware of your self-talk and the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing.

If there are specific themes to the negative self-talk, step back from that thought and ask yourself “why am I thinking that?” “is there a more positive way of looking at this?”

When you catch negative self-talk, try to replace the thought with a positive one.

If you think you are far away from achieving your goals, stop and reframe that thought.

Think instead about how far you’ve come from where you started.

Negative become positive and self-confidence rises.

6. Understand Your Unique Strengths

When you spend time doing things you love and you’re great at your self-confidence is at a high level.

Conversely, doing things that bore you, that frustrate you can lower your energy.

Spend some time understanding your unique strengths, and then try to spend more time doing those things that utilise those strengths.

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7. Celebrate Achievements Every Day

Self-confidence grows when we achieve something that is important to us.

However, we often fail to recognise and celebrate all the great little wins we achieve every day.

At the end of each day, write down 3 things you’ve achieved or are grateful for.

This simple habit of celebrating achievements is one of the best practices for boosting self-confidence daily.

8. Really Understand Yourself

When you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is often yourself.

Most personal transformations start internally and come from making a commitment.

The key to creating this transformation is to really understand yourself.

Summing Up

Increasing confidence will take commitment and a lot of courage.

The intentional actions I’ve laid out in this article can help you overcome fear and boost self-confidence.

Some of them will work really well together to expand the impact, whilst others will work well in isolation.

Find the best solution for you that works and stick with it.

Source: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/8-things-you-can-do-to-increase-self-confidence/

A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

With love and respect

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15 Ways to Become a Better Person

Life is a journey and becoming better every day is the goal.

By John Rampton

“Make the most of yourself….for that is all there is of you.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’ve all made mistakes throughout our lives that haven’t exactly put us in the best light–like bullying someone in school or telling what seemed like a little white lie. Chances are, however, you probably felt a little guilt and grew because of the situation.

I’m an average guy trying to become better in both my work and home life. I’ll never be perfect, but it doesn’t mean I won’t try.

If you want to continue to grow as a person, here are 15 ways to make the most of yourself.

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1. Compliment Yourself
Every morning before you go on with your daily routine, take a couple of minutes to give yourself a compliment. Whether you compliment your outfit, haircut, or how you recently completed a task using your unique skill sets, giving yourself a little emotional boost will make you happy. And, when you’re happy with yourself, that emotion can be contagious to those around you. Inspirational speaker Tony Robbins has a mantra he says aloud to himself most days to put him in a peak performance state.

2. Don’t Make Excuses
Blaming your spouse, boss, or clients is fruitless and won’t get you very far. Instead of pointing fingers and making excuses about why you aren’t happy or successful in your personal or professional life, own your mistakes and learn from them. When you do this, you will become a better person. When I personally started living up to my mistakes and downfalls, my life turned itself around. I became happier and healthier, and my relationship with my wife improved. We are happier than ever.

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3. Let Go of Anger
Letting go of anger is easier said than done. While anger is a perfectly normal emotion, you can’t let it fester. When this happens, you may make unwise decisions, and more important, it may affect your health. Research suggests pent up anger can cause digestive problems, difficulty sleeping, and even heart disease.

To help you let go of anger, Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD, suggests you write your feelings down, pray or meditate, or begin to manage your thoughts.

4. Practice Forgiveness
Joyce Marter, LCPC, suggests you forgive and let go of resentment. She notes, “If for no other reason than for yourself, forgive to untether yourself from the negative experiences of the past. Take time to meditate, and give thanks for the wisdom and knowledge gained from your suffering. Practice the mantra, “I forgive you and I release you.”

5. Be Honest and Direct
How would you feel if a loved one or business partner lied to you? Chances are you would see that as a violation of your trust. If you want to be a better person in either your personal or professional life, you should always tell the truth and state as clearly as possible what you are trying to convey. Learn to articulate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas in an open and honest manner.

6. Be Helpful
Whether giving up your seat to an elderly person on the subway, assisting a co-worker on a project, or carrying in the groceries when your spouse comes back from the store, being helpful is one of the easiest and most effective ways to practice becoming a better person. I find that the more I help others, the better I feel about myself and everyone around me.

7. Listen to Others
As Jeet Banerjee notes on Lifehack, “listening to people and giving everyone a voice is one of the greatest things you can do.” He adds that he “got to meet some of the most amazing people, close some of the biggest deals, and develop connections that will last me a lifetime all because I took time to listen to people. Being a good listener can change your life in a positive manner.”

8. Act Locally
It may not seem like a big deal, but supporting a local cause, donating clothes, or buying from local farmers’ markets or businesses are simple ways you can help your specific region. You may not be able to save the world, but you very well could make a difference in your neck of the woods. Get to know and care about your community.

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9. Always Be Polite
How much effort does it take to say, “Thank you,” or to hold the elevator door open for someone? Not much at all. However, these acts of kindness can make someone’s day. I decided a few years ago that it doesn’t matter if someone is ultra rude, condescending, or worse. The way someone else behaves is not going to determine my behavior.

10. Be Yourself
Tiffany Mason has five excellent reasons on Lifehack why you should be yourself. These include being able to align yourself with your values and beliefs, establish your identity, build courage, create boundaries, and find focus and direction.

11. Be Open to Change
Whether trying a new restaurant, traveling to an unknown part of the world, or doing something that has always scared you, you should always be open to change. This allows you to grow because you experience something new. It helps you be high functioning and self-confident if you are not wary of change.

12. Be Respectful
How would you feel if you had just cleaned your home and someone came in and tracked mud everywhere? You’d probably be a little ticked that they hadn’t taken off their shoes. Take this mentality and apply it to everyday life. For example, don’t toss your trash or cigarette butts on the floor of public restrooms or sidewalks just because someone else will clean it up. Be respectful of others’ time, thoughts, ideas, lifestyles, feelings, work, and everything else. You don’t have to agree with any of it, but people have a right to their opinions and yours is not necessarily correct.

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13. Don’t Show Up Empty-handed
Going to a party this weekend at your friend’s apartment? Make sure you don’t arrive empty-handed. Even if you’ve been assured that there will be plenty of food and drink, bring along a little something to show you appreciate being invited.

14. Educate Yourself
If you don’t understand why one country is invading another, take the time to educate yourself on the current event. Ask a person intimately connected with the event for his or her thoughts. Remember, we’re all interconnected, and being aware of different cultures, different people, and what their lives are like can make you a more well-rounded individual. This will also help you understand points of view different from your own.

15. Surprise People
How good does it feel to make someone smile? It feels pretty good, right? Surprise your loved ones or co-workers now and then, with a gift, a night out on the town, or by offering help when you know they could use it.

Becoming a better person doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. Believe in yourself and know that it is possible!

What other tips have you found useful for becoming a better person?

Source: https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/15-ways-to-become-a-better-person.html

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A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

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My Hope for you: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life

By Luminita D. Saviuc

In a world where so many people focus on the bad instead of the good, the ugly instead of the beautiful, on scarcity instead of abundance, fear instead of love, I hope you’ll dare to do things differently. I hope you’ll dare to smile when others frown, to believe when others doubt and to love when others fear…

I wrote this piece today. I call it, My Hope for You. Hope you like it 😁😁😁

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My Hope for You

“I hope you’ll put aside all your fears and insecurities and I hope you’ll find the courage to take risks and make all your dreams come true.

I hope you’ll find the courage to lose sight of the shore so that you can discover new oceans.

I hope you’ll let go of all thoughts of limitation and I hope you’ll stop settling for less than you are worth.

I hope you’ll start believing in yourself as much as you want the world to believe in you.

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I hope you’ll pour your love into everything you do and I hope you’ll make your life a work of art.

I hope you’ll learn to smile more and frown less; to trust more and doubt less; to feel more and think less; to listen more and talk less.

I hope you’ll give yourself permission to stop taking yourself so seriously and enjoy life a little more.

I hope you’ll give yourself permission to be silly and weird, to laugh when you feel like laughing and to cry when you feel like crying.

I hope you’ll cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but light, your own and of those around you.

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I hope you’ll stop chasing love and approval outside of you and start seeking your own love and approval instead.

I hope you’ll always keep a humble heart and no matter how bad the world will treat you, I hope you’ll look at it with eyes of love.

I hope you’ll learn to treat everyone with love and respect and I hope you’ll make every person you come in contact with feel that there is something valuable in them.

I hope you’ll surround yourself with the best kind of people, positive and cheerful spirits, beautiful and loving souls.

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I hope you’ll love with all your heart and no matter if you’ll get hurt, lied or betrayed, I hope you’ll never lose your faith in love.

I hope you’ll put aside all thoughts of envy and jealousy and look at those who already accomplished many of the things you wish to accomplish with respect and admiration.

I hope you’ll learn to honor and embrace yourself fully, and I hope you’ll love yourself as much as you want others to love you.

I hope you’ll learn to forgive and let go of all thoughts of anger and resentment, and I hope you’ll allow peace, love and tranquility to enter your heart.

I hope you’ll let go of the past and all the pain that it caused you, and I hope you’ll allow it to make you better not bitter.

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I hope you’ll find the strength to turn your wounds into wisdom and all your difficulties into opportunities.

I hope you’ll learn to be grateful for every experience life sends your way.

I hope you’ll allow your so called mistakes and failures to teach you gratitude, patience, humility and compassion, and I hope you’ll put all thoughts of blame, judgement and criticism behind you.

I hope you’ll become a reflection of that which you want to see in the world and I hope you’ll make the rest of your life the best of your life.”

Explore the possibilities and much more!

Source: https://www.purposefairy.com/67562/my-hope-for-you-how-to-make-the-rest-of-your-life-the-best-of-your-life/

I’ll be better than yesterday, personally, professionally and financially

A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

With love and respect

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17 Killer Strategies For Never Giving Up

By Joel Runyon

Most things aren’t impossible, most people just give up too soon.

The number one reason people don’t get what they want is because they give up too soon. That’s a true stat that I just made up, but I would venture to guess it’s not far off. You’ve probably given up on a lot of things before.

  • You didn’t get the first job you wanted – so you gave up.
  • The first business you started working on failed – so you gave up.
  • The first time you went out for a run, you puked – so you gave up.
  • The first time you sent in a writing piece, you got turned down – so you gave up.

It could be anything, but chances are whatever it is, it boiled down to this: you didn’t get what you wanted right away so you gave up.

You called it in. You packed it up and you headed home.

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STOP GIVING UP.

Perseverance, next to adaptability is the most important skill you can have.  And it’s just that, a skill. Like any other skill in the world, you might be born with a more natural ability to persevere than others, but you can learn to stick with things and persevere if you want to. In fact, the one thing that sets people I know who succeed in the long run over the people who don’t is the ability to persevere, keep going and never give up.

The goal of this article is to get you to stop giving up!

Luckily, like everything, not giving up is a skill you can learn. Here are some strategies for never giving up to help you the next time you want to quit.

1. Go Workout

A long run can clear your mind in ways that few other things can. Same with a solid session of throwing around a lot of heavy weight. Get moving. Go do something different. Push yourself physically. The best way to get past imaginary limits is to make them as physical as possible and then physically smash them into pieces. When you do that it reminds you that the limits that seem so real in your mind, aren’t real at all. When you’re in the weight room, the iron never lies. It shows you exactly who you are and that with solid hard work you can overcome something you used to think was impossible to do.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs.

Friends may come and go.

But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. – Henry Rollins – Iron and the Soul

2. Watch Someone Do Something Impossible

What can you do? You’re just a little tiny person on earth. Good thing people are capable of doing incredible things.

When it feels like you can’t do anything, it can be helpful to be reminded by others who have done amazing things despite the annoying hindrance of being merely human.

“Everything around you that you call life was made up by people who are no smarter than you.” – Steve Jobs

Go watch someone do something impossible. Then go do something impossible yourself. One person can change the world. Be that person.

Take a look at what’s possible

3. Listen To Your Go-To Song

Everyone needs a good pump up song. I don’t really listen to music much when I’m working out, but I do need the help to get out the door. Find something that works for you. When things start getting hard, pump up the music, put on your headphones and get after it.

This is my go-to song that gets me out of the door when I’m feeling lazy.

4. Climb A Mountain

Sometimes the real reason for quitting is a complete lack of belief that you can actually do the impossible. Show yourself you can actually do it. Go do something ridiculously hard and don’t tell anyone. Climb a mountain and tell no one. Remind yourself what you’re capable of. Then keep going.

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5. Find A Door And Go Through It

This video from David Goggins is one of the most inspirational things I’ve ever seen. If you’ve never seen it, go watch it now (I’ll be here when you’re done)

David’s an ultra-marathoner and in the video he describes that throughout certain parts of the race you feel like giving up when you hit a wall. But the wall isn’t the problem – the problem is giving up. When you hit a wall, it’s not the end of the road, you have to keep going. Go parallel right, and parallel left until you find a door in the wall. Once you find that door, you can either give up or keep going. If you want to finish, you have to open that door. When you do, your mind resets and you break through the wall and you keep going.

Find the door, open it and keep going.

6. Be Honest With Yourself

Sometimes you need to lock yourself in a room, and scream at the top of your lungs.

THIS SUCKS!

Do that until you turn purple.

Got that out of your system? Good. Then get back to work.

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7. Find Someone To Call You Out

Sometimes you have legitimate reasons for wanting to quit. Lots of times you’re simply making up excuses for when things get hard. Find someone who’d going to call you out when you start coming up with excuses. Someone that’s going to call you on your BS.

A lot of friends want to be encouraging and they do it in the nicest way possible, but unfortunately, nice isn’t always a good thing. Honest friends – people who tell you what you need to hear whether you like or not – are rare and while it’s nice to be coddled, sometimes you need to be called out.

If you need someone to call you out, I try to help out with that. Get on the email list for no BS call-outs directly to your inbox.

8. Wallow

Sit around. Put your head in your hands. Curl up in a ball. Cry. Feel bad for yourself. Do whatever you have to. Wallow and throw yourself a pity party. But (and this is important) give yourself a time limit for wallowing.

You can’t wallow forever. Give yourself a set time to wallow (preferably not over 24 hours) and then get back to it and do something.

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9. Think About Why

Ask yourself, “Why are you doing this again?”

You should have a really good reason. Otherwise, pause, take a break and figure it out.

Then keep going.

10. Just Quit

You don’t have to finish everything. If you’re doing the wrong thing, you should be quitting. But you need to quit the right things – not everything. If you quit everything, you either need to get better at choosing what to start or learn to adapt and perserve more.

It’s also good to note that quitting an activity, doesn’t mean quitting altogether and giving up. If you quit something, do it because you need to focus on something else or do something better. Don’t simply quit because it’s the easy thing to do. Quit because you’re quitting the right thing.

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11. Tree Counting

Whenever I do long distance races, there’s always a point where you want to stop. When that happens, I start counting trees. How it works is that while running, you pick out a tree 50 yards in front of you. You tell yourself to keep going until that tree. As soon as you hit that next tree, pick another tree out and keep going. Repeat as necessary.

12. Take Cold Showers

If you want to give up because you’re afraid to take the next step, take 30 days of cold shower therapy and get used to stepping into something you’re scared of and realize that it’s never as bad as your imagination makes it out to be.

13. Forget About It

You got rejected, turned down or met some other minor setback? Forget about it. Literally just forget about it. Move on to something else instead and put that out of your mind.

In my mind sometimes, I think things were really, really easy, because looking back on things I tend to forget all the hard parts. I look at whatever I did and think “well that wasn’t so hard.”

Of course it’s wasn’t now that you’re done with it!

But there were a ton of times along the way that things were difficult, but I just put them out of my head. It turns out, I have a very short term memory of all the times I’ve screwed up, failed, and been rejected. It’s not that they didn’t happen – it’s just that I didn’t let them stop me. I put them out of  my mind and kept going, with whatever added wisdom I picked up from that experience.

For example: When I first started writing online, I sent a bunch of samples to a few blogs that I thought were great, only to get rejected time after time after time. I’d spend a week on an article only to get a “no thanks” back from a blog I thought was amazing. So I quit, packed up my laptop ran to my room, cried for a few months and never wrote another thing again, right?

Well, actually I just made my own site and started writing. And I still wasn’t any good. I was bad when I started (really bad), but I’ve gotten less and less bad as time goes on. As I’ve improved I realize those sites that I thought were amazing, weren’t that amazing after all. They were good, and they were right (the pieces I sent them weren’t great) but they weren’t blogging Gods and their judgment of wherever I was at the time, didn’t mean I couldn’t improve and get better. I still get rejected all the time, but I just keep going.

If you’re facing a setback, rejection, or failure, sometimes it’s easy to turn on your short term memory and continue anyways.

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14. Reframe Your Story

Reframing your story is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Rethink the lens you’re looking at your life through. Instead of worrying about the struggle you’re in the midst of, remind yourself you’re a character in a story. Characters experience conflict and the conflict you’re going through is part of what’s going to make your story so great in the end.

Your current circumstances are not final outcomes. 

Your circumstances define the conflict, but not the final result. The harder the struggle, the greater the story. The more triumphant it is in the end when you overcome the conflict you find yourself immersed in.

When other people give up, you keep going and remember that there’s more to the story than what you’re experiencing right now.

15. Keep Your Head Up.

The crap you’re going to seems so immense because you’re focused directly on it – looking directly into and analyzing every piece of crap that flies your way. When you raise your head up, you look beyond the mess you’re stuck in right now and see the bigger picture and sometimes that’s all you need. Keeping your head up allows you to see the simple solution to the problem that you used to think was ridiculously complex.

16. Realize You Get To Do This

You get the opportunity to do this.  To be able to change your life, try something impossible and actually do it. There are people all over the world that don’t get the opportunities you do.

It’s sounds ridiculous, but there are people throughout the world that would kill to deal with the pain and agony of starting their own business, being healthy enough to run a marathon or the freedom to choose what job they want to spend their life doing.

Realizing that most of the world doesn’t get the opportunities you do, lets you take advantage of the ones you have rather than complaining about how difficult they may seem.

17. Make Quitting Not An Option

Just decide that you’re not going to quit. This is so effective, and so simple, but hardly anyone does it. Just decide you’re not going to quit.

No matter what. Period. End of Story.

If you get punched in the face. Keep going. If you go bankrupt. Suck it back up and keep going. If you get laughed at, mocked or pushed down. Just get back up. Get back at it and keep going. Be relentless.

Fall down seven times. Get up eight. – Japanese Proverb

Decide that quitting is not an option and, no matter how many times you fail, it won’t be an option.

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10 BOOKS FOR A BETTER MONEY MINDSET

By BRIAN COLVERT

The list of personal finance and investing books is pretty extensive. This is not that list. While those books can be helpful, many get very technical, and if your mindset isn’t in the right place to take in that knowledge – what is the point?  Plus, technical knowledge alone won’t lead you towards a wealthy and rich life (financial or otherwise). A lot of what holds people back from success are their thoughts and beliefs about money.

WHAT STORIES DO YOU TELL YOURSELF ABOUT MONEY?

For some, and as society has come to reinforce, is that money is the root of all evil, or that rich people are greedy, or some other negative belief along those lines. Living with a negative or scarce mindset will never lead you to a positive or abundant life. In fact, research shows that one of the BEST predictors of success in life is one’s mindset.

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT, GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT!

So then, what is this list? This is a list of books for a better money mindset.  Some talk specifically about money, others don’t, but all should spark something in your mind and help you view the world, and your money in a different and more positive way.  Let’s get to it!

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1. MINDSET BY CAROL DWECK

This is an obvious first choice because, well, this book is THE book about mindset.  There are decades of research behind this book that gets translated into specific, actionable, and tangible detail. Dweck has a very compelling view of why we should look differently at failure and learning. Further, this book helps you to evaluate if you are approaching your money from a fixed or growth perspective. There is a huge difference, which is why I recommend this book.

2. START WITH WHY BY SIMON SINEK

Simon Sinek is a genius when it comes to getting to the heart of why you should do something, not how.  Why do you want more money? Certainly, it’s not to have more pieces of paper with dead Presidents on them laying around. Defining what is truly behind your financial goals will help propel you in the right direction. You will discover that money is never really the WHY.

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3. THE POWER OF BROKE BY DAYMOND JOHN

Shark Tank investor and entrepreneur Daymond John was broke with a $40 budget when he was starting his clothing brand FUBU, which today is a $6 billion brand. How is that for bootstrapping?! This book is great for putting money into perspective. It shows that it doesn’t always take money to make money (another disempowering colloquialism that society has)- the book has so many perfect examples of this. Use your lack of financial resources to your advantage. We also recommend this book to those well off because it can reignite a hustle you may have lost along the way.

4. THE TALENT CODE BY DANIEL COYLE

This book is grounded in science. It doesn’t skip straight to the “here’s how it works, go do that”, instead, it helps you understand what influences the development of your skills and as a result helps you become a better learner in all areas. This book has expanded my mind and it is another great perspective builder. There are practical stories and examples of the concepts. Above all, Coyle shows how all of us can achieve our full potential (and the best money mindset) if we set about training our brains in the right way.

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5. THINK AND GROW RICH BY NAPOLEON HILL

This is a classic and one of those books I revisit at least once a year. It is that good. If you haven’t read it, stop what you are doing and read it already.  In fact, I believe this should be required reading for high school students. In the book, Napoleon Hill recounts his research of more than 500 self-made millionaires (keep in mind the book was originally published in 1937) and then he boils down the “secret” to building wealth into 13 principles and reveals “major causes of failure” that hold many of us back from getting rich. This should really be on every list of books for a better money mindset, or self-improvement book list in general.

6. THE INNER GAME OF TENNIS BY W. TIMOTHY GALLWEY 

I had to convince my wife to read this because she isn’t a huge Tennis fan, she read it and loved it. So, if you are not a  big Tennis Fan either, simply ignore the title and read on.  This book is about how to master your inner dialog. The inner game of tennis theory states that two opposing mindsets are always battling. The first, the “teller” mind which is filled with self-judgments and criticism. This mindset wants to over-control your performance.  The second “doer” mindset is the best mindset for peak performance and happens when you are free and react with your game. You must master both.  Again, master your mind- master your money.

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7. THE MILLIONAIRE NEXT DOOR BY THOMAS J. STANLEY PH.D.

This book examines the lives of unlikely, unexpected millionaires. It goes into the habits, careers, and relationships that shape these people. Some of the material is dated to the 90’s but the concept is still applicable today- especially the principle that wealth is more common than you would think, actually it that might be even more relevant today. There is lots of practical advice in this classic book and one worth checking out.

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8. THE OTHER 90% BY ROBERT K. COOPER

I believe there are two main problems with the majority of self-help and leadership books. First, the vast majority of self-improvement books don’t seem to challenge conventional thinking in any meaningful way, nor do they bring about fresh insights. Second, they tend to offer oversimplified platitudes about success. The other 90% goes in the opposite direction.  Dr. Robert Cooper, a neuroscience pioneer, urges us to take a radically different view of human capacity. We are mostly unused potential, he says, employing less than 10 percent of our brilliance or hidden talents. This book provides action steps to develop your full potential in all areas of your life.

9. UNFU*K YOURSELF BY GARY JOHN BISHOP

I love this book because it offers a no-BS, tough-love approach to help you move past self-imposed limitations. It is a great alternative to cozy, everything is rainbows, self-help books. Beyond the catchy title, it offers practical insights on fostering the will for change, changing your language to serve you, and overcoming analysis paralysis. It drives home the point, quite bluntly, that you currently have the life (and the money mindset) that you are willing to put up with. It is certainly a refreshing read and why it made our list of books for a better money mindset.

10. THE POWER OF HABIT BY CHARLES DUHIGG

Habits around money can either be the most empowering or the most detrimental. This book walks you through everything you need to know about breaking and forming habits that will transform your life, and of course your money mindset. This book is a fascinating account of recent research into habits and worth the time to read it. What cues some of your current money habits? What rewards do you have in place for your good habits? Do you have a plan in place to create better habits around money? This book dives into it all. Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.

There you have it! Our top Ten Books for a Better Money Mindset. Have you read any of these already? Are there others you would add to the list? We hope you find value in these and that at least one resonates with you in a way that makes you want to intentionally improve your mindset,  because if you improve your mindset- you improve your life!

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Source: https://www.bonfirefinancial.com/books-for-a-better-money-mindset/

I’ll be better than yesterday, personally, professionally and financially

A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits

With love and respect

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